Remember Last December?

I originally wrote this post Dec. 7, 2009.  It holds a special place in my heart because it is the first post in which I actually embedded a video (before that there was just a link to click on. Ha!  Rookie Jules!)
~~~~~

These Ads Are So Cute!  These Ads Are So Cute!
It is a rare occasion on which I find myself wanting my kids to be child actors, but this commercial brings all those wants rushing to the surface.


These kids are darling! And talented! And they're in commercials, not say... Poltergeist: Return of the Polters. So how much damage can be done? (Please do not reference my Dec. 2 post- I will not allow my own bloggy words to be used in a (valid- I admit it! Valid!) case against me). Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your take here), I don't have the energy to parade my kids around the show biz (unless we're talking Chuck E. Cheese- fka Show Biz) so they'll have to settle for Jules' School of Awesome Commercial Dances, in which I will train them in Gap Ads 101 and force them to perform at all family functions (and for my own spontaneous amusement). Of course, first Adrienne will need to learn to walk (she can't even sit up yet- I've got her in sitting up boot camp (thank you Bumbo!) but those are issues for another blog- maybe a Hover-Mom blog). I could have her be the girl laying on the floor during the "these boots are so cute" portion. Yes! Problem solved.

Word count: 208
Parentheses count: 7 (but I've earned it! having finally learned how to embed the YouTube videos!!!!)
Oops: make that 8

WWW Wednesday

I seriously had to stop and really wonder if it was already Wednesday!  The Magic 8 Ball said "Yes" so here we go!

Whine:  I don't WANNA take down my Christmas decorations!  In the words of my 18 month old, "No, no, no!"  On the other hand, I don't want to be all Running With Scissors and leave my tree up year-round.  But my nativity scene?  The Christmas cards I love to display?  I wish these things could stay up (without visitors judging me and talking about me behind my back) 12 months a year!

Wish:  I wish the Godiva chocolate I got in my stocking wasn't already gone.  Boo.  But I also wish for you the very happiest New Year's you've ever had!  I wish none of you get hungover from champagne (or lemon drops if that's more your style), I wish you all have somebody fabulous to make out with kiss respectfully at midnight, I wish everybody at the party you're attending has a DD (and it's not you!), and I wish 2011 to be full of loud laughter, friends galore, personal achievement, and whatever else you could possibly want.  And of course bajillions of fabulous new commercials! (and some sucky ones just to shake things up!)

Woo-hoo!  I'm headed up north tomorrow to bring in the New Year at one of my favorite places in the world!  You should definitely continue stopping by Ad Bits in my absence... I'll line up a couple old posts (from before I had readers, so they'll be new to you!) for your reading pleasure.
Double Woo-hoo!  I'm on The Twitter!  I know!  So fancy (and archaic) of me!  I'm @AdBitsJules or you can click the darling little button on the sidebar to follow me.  And please do.  Because right now I look Pathetic with a capital P.  (Although I do adore my 2 current Followers!  Thank you Loves!)

This is a very old commercial (even older than Twitter!) but I love it because I know this guy!  Well, not THIS guy exactly, but you know- a guy with unfortunate similarities.

Silly Juice

Are you having a blast playing with your kids' toys or what?!  I came pretty close to begging yesterday when M wanted to do something besides play Candyland with me.  And I found myself asking A if I could just try her Aquadoodle... just to see how it works (one straight-up masterpiece later, she got her toy back).  The girls also received Singamyjigs?  Have you heard of these?  I had not, but I'm here to tell you- They. Are. Hilarious!  So funny, I have to spread the joy.  Buckle up for a rare Ad Bits video:

They crack me up every single time with their perfectly shaped mouths and little teeth and tongues (that I don't think you can see, but trust me- they just add to the silly fun).

What new toys are you guys sneaking away from your kids?  I'm already looking for birthday and Christmas ideas for myself the girls so clue me in!

Speaking of funny, how much do we love the Tropicana 50 commercials with Jane Krakowski?  I actually don't care for the juice, but I'm planning to continue buying it because their ad campaign is spot on.  The one in which she yells at her gardener is my fave, but apparently not on YouTube yet.  I'll hook you up with it just as soon as it's available (remind me if I forget!).  In the meantime, here's a slice of the orange:

The Monday After

Merry Post-Christmas!  Are you guys all still high on tinsel and led lights like I am?  Part of that buzz may be exhaustion, but I'll take it.  I hope you all had the merriest Christmas of your lives and have minimal returns to deal with this week!

We buzzed around the state celebrating Christmas with various family members, each celebration as merry and bright as the one before it.  Today we are winding the heck DOWN!  My house is in shambles (you could said it's a ChristMESS), my kids need to eat something with nutritional value, and I need to regroup and reflect on the awesomeness that was our holiday weekend; and of course start thinking about taking decorations down.  Boo!  I mean Christmas is only 363 shopping days away... maybe I should just leave it all up?

M and A received some lovely gifts, but the thing Molly can't stop talking about?  The chocolate coins Santa left in her stocking.  Seriously?  I could have saved so much money.  Next year she's getting a truckload of chocolate coins and we're calling it a day!  Of course I'm sure the girls' favorite gifts are actually the leg warmers I knitted them (see below) and the prayers I wrote and framed for them.  A kid's Christmas dream come true, right?  Ha!

Even though the holiday season is winding down, the best commercials are right around the bend!  New Year's always brings a host of good alcoholic ads (my dad was kind enough to bring this commercial to my attention.  Thanks Dad!) and after that is.... Superbowl!  Weeee!  Get your commercial watching faces on readers!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas wonderful bloggy friends!  I will be back next week- I can't wait to hear about everybody's holiday! 

This commercial makes me laugh, cry, and want another baby:

WWW Wednesday

Whine:  This is neither a timely whine, nor a very sincere one, but being filled with the holiday spirit it's the best I can do.  Remember my ugly sweater party last weekend?  I didn't win the prize for ugliest sweater.  And you know how much I like to win.  Here's what went wrong.  I scoured Goodwill for an ugly sweater and was devastated to find cute things there!  Noooo!  I finally found a pretty darn ugly sweater, paid my three (!  I thought it would be like 50 cents!) dollars and left.  Minutes before leaving for the party I put it on.  30 seconds into it's wearage, my eyes have nearly swollen shut and I'm clawing at my itchy throat while consecutive sneeze #34 is exploding out of my head.  It occurs to me that whomever had this sweater before me didn't just have a cat, but in all likelihood, was a cat.  Long story short, I borrowed one of my mom's sweaters she bought from Gantos in the 80s.  It was ugly, but I should've been uglier.  2011 is now dedicated to finding (or making?!) the perfect ugly sweater.

Semi-ugly sweaters

Wish: I wish Adrienne would stop sucking toothpaste out of the tube!  It's gross and can't be great for her.  It doesn't matter where I hide it or how tight I screw the cap on, I'll catch her wandering around our houseful of safe, fluoride-free toys, sucking the bejesus out of a tube of toothpaste.  On the flip side, her breath smells like a Christmas tree- festive!

Woo-hoo!  I LOVE that our days are already getting longer!  Every single year I'm pleasantly surprised at how quickly our shortest day comes around.  I know it'll still be months before we get noticeably more rays, but I know our darkest days are behind us, so to speak.  Also, last year M could not ice skate.  She could not even stand up on the ice.  This year?  She was buzzing around our pond like a little pro yesterday!  Of course when I say "buzzing" I mean she could putter a few feet before falling.  It made my day and that of my whole hockey playing family.  Kick ice!

Love this commercial.  I will wear my sunglasses when it's dusk or very cloudy out, but I (reluctantly) draw the line at wearing them indoors.  However, I think with my 80s sweater on Saturday, I could have totally pulled the "indoor shades" look off.  (I'm sorry about the cruddy quality, but in the 80s this would have been HD caliber!)

My Bloggy Speed Dial

Last night I made chili for dinner.  Halfway into things I realized I only had half the chili powder the recipe called for.  If it were onion or garlic I would just skip it, but chili powder seemed like an important ingredient since it has the name of the dish in the title.  I panicked. 

I was wishing I had a direct line to Nikki Woo- the Home Guru, one of my favorite bloggers and Queen of cuisine.  She would know what to do.  Can I substitute onion soup mix? Taco seasoning?  Another powder?  Baking powder? (Don't worry Nikki, I nixed that idea in a hurry).

I have amazing friends with talents and gifts a-plenty (who are probably reading this thinking, "you could've called me and I could walk to your house with a bucket full of chili powder you doorknob!"), but still.  I find myself thinking of my favorite blog authors and wishing for their input more and more often.

For instance, when I screw up my knitting and cussing, throw it across the room, it would be so much more zen of me to call Margi, The Maverick Crafter so she could clue me into the obscure world of felting. (Incidentally, I do know Margi in "real life" and adore her.  She was the network administrator at my pre-kids job, so I feel like she's paid her dues in the "Incompetent Jules" department).

Or, just before I'm about to waste $1.99 on a used book from Amazon?  What if I could just shoot a quick text to Diane at Bibliophile By the Sea to see if she's checked it out and is it worth the two Washingtons?

When I'm feeling sorry for myself or wanting to punch something, Leanne at From Chaos Comes Happiness would be on my speed dial.  I don't doubt for a second she could talk me down from sticking bologna on the jerkwad's car who parked three inches from me at Meijer. (Is that just an urban legend by the way?  Does bologna really take paint off?  Ya know what?  It's probably better I don't know).

When I have burning dairy farm questions (Is cow tipping for real?  Should I lather my cracked hands in udder cream from Wal-Mart?  How far past the expiration date can I drink my milk?)  Well... luckily Carla at Truth or Dairy IS on my real life speed dial!  I wish more bloggers were!

Important: Bloggers I noted, please do not be freaked out.  I, in no way, expect you to send me your phone number.  I'm just sayin' your blogs are a wealth of information for me and I will DIE should you ever quit them.  No pressure.  Mucho bloggy love.

Love this commercial.  This cat is wishing her real life friends would come claw this chick's eyes out. (I know what you're thinking, but it's different when it's my dog!)

Naughty Or Vice

Happy Monday!  It's Christmas week!  Remember how I dreaded sending Molly to school?  Now that she has a couple weeks off and will be around a total of ten more hours, I'm realizing how very much I love those school hours!  They wear her out, they delight her more than I ever could, we need those school hours!  I can see I should start prepping now for the long summer ahead of us.

Over the weekend I was visiting the 'rents (I read that abbreviation in a teen 'zine- so hip!), which was fabulous because there were so many hands to help with things!  My kids were happy 100% of the time because they didn't have to count on me to be a pony (Molly) or change a diaper (Adrienne- my mom warms the wipes before making wipe to bottom contact; I don't have time for such niceties what with my busy schedule of eating hay and galloping through open fields).

It was fantastic.  But.  Here's the thing- when I was younger I was forbade soda pop of all varieties.  Every now and then once I reached the age of 7, I was allowed Sprite or 7Up as they are clear and decaf.  Surely this was a good move on my mom's part.  I don't allow my girls any pop either.  But I grew up to be a Diet Coke addict as you may have seen on my Bits About Me page, or yes, maybe from my Ode to Diet Coke.  My dad grew up to be a Diet Pepsi drinker, which I'm happy to drink in a pinch.  Even though I'm a 31 year old woman I hide my pop drinking from my mom.  It sucks the fun right out of my fizzy pop.

I do the cough and open so she doesn't hear that glorious pop and hiss (but then I can't hear it either and it's one of my favorite parts!)  I have to slam it down, crouched in the basement while the washer is going lest she hear my frantic gulps.  Pathetic and a little painful- that stuffs can burn the ole esophagus!  Not to mention I have to drink something else with my meals, which a) saddens me, because food just doesn't taste as good without my DC and b) all this liquid is making me have to go like, well... a pony.

Of course, it's worth it to get my bubbly, caffeinated beverage.  Totally worth it. 

This commercial is in honor of my mom, who pointed it out to me and loves it as much as I do.

Faturday

Do you know what today is?  Do you KNOW what today is?!?!  That's right.  It is the 18th.  Satur-flippin'-day the 18th.

You probably think I'm panicking about Christmas.  And I am.  But I also have a deeper, more panicky panic (that is clearly tampering with my vocabulary) stewing.  A bridesmaid dress awaiting my bloated-with -800 pounds-of-Christmas-cookies body.  That I have to squeeze into in four weeks. 674 hours.

Nobody will even be looking at me, I know... the bride will be breathtaking and stealing the show as it should be.  It's just that as you know from Wednesday's post, I'm already a zitty mess.  And here's the kicker.  I'm the oldest bridesmaid!  By like five years.  So it doesn't seem fair that I would have to play the role of oldest and plumpest (and zittiest).  Hence the panic.

The thing is I don't care enough to actually stop eating the chocolate covered pretzels, the fudge, the sugar cookies, or the peanut brittle.  So sign me up for Fattest and Oldest.  And pass the figgy pudding.

Ok, George Costanza.  But did you have to stand up in a wedding?  Didn't think so.

Living In The Present

The girlies and I are visiting my parents' house right now- Jim is meeting us here tomorrow.  We're in town for an ugly sweater party tomorrow (fun!) and a dress fitting I have today (the opposite of fun).  This fitting (for a bridesmaid dress) was supposed to happen the day after Thanksgiving and then I came to my senses and cancelled it.  Unfortunately I haven't stopped eating since Thanksgiving soooo..... what can I say?  The holidays are hellidays on the old waistline!

So my goals today include: lose 10 lbs and find an ugly sweater.  No sweat, right?  Hohoho.

Yesterday I had my first (of many, no doubt) awkward moment of the holiday season.  My mother-in-law came over for lunch and to celebrate her birthday.  I reached into my pile of wrapped presents, handed her one and watched excitedly as she unwrapped.... an ice cream maker???!?!  That's not what I bought her!  She didn't want it, I could tell, but I didn't know what to do!  She feigned enthusiasm and we had cake.

But I couldn't let it go.  So after a while (too long!  I should have just said something right away!) I awkwardly asked if she was very attached to her ice cream maker.  Blank stare.  That's what I thought.  So I admitted my airheaded mistake and presented her real present.  It was a much bigger hit and she admitted it would be used a lot more than the ice cream maker (which can now go to it's intended recipient).  Embarrassing!  But I'm so happy I said something.  And what is the holiday season without a faux pas or two? 

Speaking of faux pas, how much do we love this AT&T commercial right now? 

WWW Wednesday

Whine:  Am I fourteen freaking years old again!?  My face seems to think so!  Just in time for holiday pictures my skin is breaking out!  Never mind that I'm in my 30s now!  Pore pore me.  Is zit just me or does anybody else have this problem?  Pimplease say I'm not the only one.  I can hardly face myself in the mirror. It's making me skinsane.

Wish: I wish my fabulous readers would check out this new blog!  My dear, dear friend just started a blog about the dairy farm she and her husband bought after years of working in corporate America.  Yes, this is the very dairy farm where I had this experience and this one too!  She is a lovely writer with lots of interesting things to say.   And do you love the name of this blog or what?!  Truth or Dairy.  Cute!  Check it out!

Woo-hoo!  It's my 300th post! That means I've blogged once every 1.68 days since July 27, 2009.  This milestone sort of snuck up on me, so i didn't have time to plan anything special.  I guess we'll have to make do with an impromptu poem:

Ad Bits Hits 300

Woo hoo!  It's my 300th post!

Here's some e-champagne- let's toast!

To commercials: the funny and rotten

And my rockstar readers!

May you never be forgotten!

You stick by me through every dumb pun

When I know there are days you want to run

Away from jokes that are cheesy at best

I put your sense of humor to the test!

Every Wednesday I wish and whine

You put up with my every semi-rhyme.

You are the coolest readers in the sphere

Putting up with my poor punctuation makes that clear!

I love to bring you commercials and chuckles galore-

here's to a silly and fun 300 more!

If you've been reading Ad Bits for a while, there's no doubt you're wildly sick of this totally inappropriate (read: get your kids out of the room) commercial, but it's still my fave, so it's getting another go 'round!

Snow Way I'm Going Out In This!

I like my house.  It's my favorite house Jim and I have ever lived in.  I know how very blessed I am to have a cozy little home when some people do not.  But ya know what?  This still does not mean I want to be in my beloved house all day long.  Which is what the sadistic radio announcers and anchorpeople want us to do because the roads are "treacherous".  So, we've been snowed in.

Yesterday, mercifully, my girlfriend who lives a hop, skip, and a snowbank away invited us over.  I bundled up the girlies, made sure their car seat belts were snug, and double checked that I was wearing pretty underwear juuuuust in case a (handsome?) doctor had to cut them off my unconscious body.  As you know, I don't drive faster than 25 mph in the winter so of course we made it there safe and sound- underwear fully in tact.  Once the girls had thoroughly trashed her house it was back home.  For the rest of the day. 

This is what I'm getting at, my bloggy friends: what do you do with your kiddos when you're trapped in your house?  How do you keep a shred of sanity?  This is surely just the first of many icy days in Michigan this winter so I need your help! 

In return, I give you this funny commercial complete with Christmasy soundtrack:

And The Winner Is...

My apologies!  I'm sure you've been on pins and needles all weekend to find out who won the Friday night beer tasting contest.  Well.  I"m thrilled to announce.... WE DID!!!  In a shocking twist (to me- I didn't think we'd actually win!)  Team J took the gold with the crowd pleasing Bee Sting from Waldorff Brewery in little Hastings, Michigan!  Here we are- the big weiners.  Er... winners:

That's us with the winning brew and the Pinot Grigio trophy.  It may look like I'm more excited than Jim, but trust me when I say he celebrated as though he were King of Beers.

Speaking of celebrating, I am in looooove with this video right now.  Promise me you'll watch until the end ok?  And I promise to have an actual commercial for you again tomorrow.  But I'm still riding my championship high and thinking rules no longer apply to me.  So commercials be damned!  Today we're just watching a random, hilarious video! 

Beer Bash Friday

First Christmas party of the season tonight!  Hip hip hooray!  The girlies are staying at their Grandpa's (he has chickens, which seems to be the equivalent of Disneyland in Molly's eyes- she adores them).  The party is also a highly competitive beer tasting battle.  Each person brings a (disguised) six pack and each beer is ranked by each person.  The person who brings the highest ranking beer wins.  I want that to be me.

Just because it's the season of giving and there's all that holiday cheer and whatnot floating around does not negate my animalistic desire to crush my tipsy competition.  The problem is I prefer my drunkeness relaxation to come in the way of wine; I don't know the first thing about beer.  Bad little Irish girl, I know.  But I did some research and settled on a beer called Bistro Blonde from a semi-local brewery.  Let me just say here if there was a Bistro Redhead there wouldn't even BE a competition yo.

So wish me luck.  Whether I win or lose you'll probably be hearing about it for the entire next year.  But first, let's enjoy some Friday beer puns:  I just can't beer to lose. A beer in the hand is worth two in the Busch.  I don't know what I get if I win- I hope it's a Blue Ribbon.  I'm going to nip my sobriety in the Bud.  Sometimes when I have too many drinks trouble starts brewing.  A bajillion Ad Bits dollars to whomever comes up with a good keg pun.  I'm tapped out.

WWW Wednesday

Whine:  I hate to be a Michigander who whines about the cold.  So I won't.  But if I were that kind of girl I would totally whine about how very very blessed cold it is today.  Instead, I am going to whine about Chex Mix.  The ratio of dark crunchy circle things to the other ingredients is WAY off.  Chex Mix has become increasing stingy with the dark crunchy circle things and I've about had it.  If I can insert a quick woo-hoo here though I will: it's about that time when my aunt makes her homemade snack mix which is unlike any other mixed snack I've ever had.  So I won't have to put up with prepackaged Chex Mix and their absurd lack of dark crunchy circle things.

Wish:  I wish the full container of baby powder Molly dumped (strategically?) in every single room of the house would please vacuum itself up.  Every time I think I've got it all cleaned, I'll pull back the covers on her bed (for instance) and find another mound of powder.  Since it's just baby powder and not crack*, I'm not that mad- it's really just an inconvenience.

Woo-hoo!  Mols hosted a little Christmas party this morning with some girlies from school!  They are terribly terribly cute and had funny conversations including one about what store we bought our house from (no, not Menards) and which Care Bear is the best (I didn't know Care Bears were still hip actually.  Even more surprising, Bedtime Bear was a wild card favorite).

I was so excited the first time I saw this commercial.  I was less excited when I learned it wasn't a commercial for diapers, sunscreen, or a chest hair comb, but whatevs.  It's still funny.  Also, my new catch phrase when I do anything kinda, sorta, maybe cool (like flip the remote into the air and catch it.... left handed) is: "Some people are just born awesome".  Dig it.



*I just had to Google "is crack the same thing as cocaine?" to make sure crack is a powder.  Wikipedia assures me they are one and the same.

Bringing Home the Bacon... er... Tree

 I was sort of down in the dumps this past weekend.  Two things were able to cheer me up.  First, we got our Christmas tree!  Here we are with it:

The other thing that kept the weekend from being a total bust?  This commercial.  (Pathetic, I know.  But really- I was grasping, and Logitech tossed me this Bacon flavored straw):

Hilarious, right?!  My absolute favorite part is his finger crossing at the end.  To tell the truth, I wasn't even 100% sure this was Kev so I had to do some Googling.  It is!  It's him!  Turning an otherwise decent commercial into a cesspool of hilarity. In my Google research I also found this link: http://www.thekevinbacongame.com/ in which you can play the six degrees of separation game with any two actors.  What a fun activity to kill the time between wrapping presents, decorating the house, baking gingerbread men, caroling, shoveling, and addressing Christmas cards!

Also, as a Tuesday treat, it is my honor to provide you with a bit more classic Bacon:

Time To Potty!

Readers, I think today is the day.  Or maybe it's tomorrow. 

I'm pretty sure it's sometime this week at least.

The little potty is coming out of retirement.  Think how it will complete my holiday decor.  It seems like only two years ago (because it was only two years ago) the little potty sat boldly under the Christmas tree- a challenge gift from Santa to Molly.  Now, I think the time has come for Adi to become acquainted with Madame Potte.  The time for me to start putting her dolls on it and squeezing wet paper towels behind them while cheering and praising loudly.  The time to stock up on fruit snacks and licorice, but not M&Ms, which actually do melt in the tiny hands of a proud potty-user.  The time to double check my portion of carpet cleaner, paper towels, and patience.

Are you potty training your kids now?  Do you remember going through this at one time?  Googling "how to potty train" and later, "potty training- what in God's name am I doing wrong?"

Of course I'm starting a bit early- A is 18 months tomorrow.  But she actually used the potty once last month (a friend put her on and she just... went!)  Plus I think she needs a challenge right now.  In addition to you know- learning to talk.  And with the holidays upon us, things are already chaotic and a bit stressful.  Why not throw another log on the fire?

So wish me luck readers.  My little star is destined to tinkle.

Throw Me A Bone Here!

I'm all done shopping for the girls!  I finished up yesterday, so from here on out they're shucks outta luck if they see something they have to have.  So now the real work begins.  The girls are easy.  Know who's not easy?  Three of Jim's cousins we see once a year (maybe) and whose names we drew for this year's Christmas exchange.  I don't suppose I have any male readers between the ages of 17 and 23?

*crickets*

Okaaaaay... anyone else buying for this tremendously difficult demographic?  Clue me in!  Do they enjoy sea monkeys?  Friendship bracelet making?  Pogo stick bouncing?  Clearly I need help!

My dog also needs help.  As in help her escape from her December outfit we love so much.  But look how cute (and absolutely disgusted) she is!

Speaking of dogs- here's another fabulous Target commercial.  I have this problem at my house, but it's not the dog splashing around in her dish- it's dear little Adrienne.  I think she's trying to tell me she belongs in the water and is going to be an Olympic swimmer.  I simply can't think of another explanation.  What's that?  Just a one year old being a one year old?  Psh.  No, I'm sticking with the Olympic swimmer theory.

WWW Wednesday

We're going crazy here at Ad Bits today and doing our dubs in reverse order!  Can you handle it?  I'm just too excited to keep my woo-hoos until the end!

Woo-hoo!  I won something!  I never win anything.  Except once at a company picnic I won a game of Bingo.  Oh, and I also won a drawing 3 years ago and got a Tim Hortons gift basket (it was lovely but I don't drink coffee so....)  But today!  Hayley from Hanging Off The Wire informed me I won the Big Birthday Box celebrating her Bloggy Birthday!  Weeeee!  I love surprises so I'm super pumped for its arrival.  Truly, it could be Dollar Store nail clippers and I'd be equally pumped.  Additionally we had our first real snowfall today and it is lovely.  And if that's not enough woo-hoo, I also noticed a mistake on a receipt last night and consequently I'm $4.24 richer today.  Woo-hoo!

Wish:  I fervently wish we could have the snow without the icy roads.  Can I get an "Amen" Northerners?  They weren't icy today, but I drove like they were.  I apologize if you were stuck behind me.  But when you've flown off the road as many times as I have, you get a little 90 year oldish in your driving.  The only upside to the bad roads is the excuse to sing Ice Ice Baby all day.  But then, do you really need an excuse for that?

Whine:  This whine is on behalf of my little Adrienne, who woke up screaming because she slept on her neck wrong.  She walked around all day looking like well... like I usually do- with a phone smooshed between ear and shoulder.  Of course she didn't have the fun of the phone and was in pain so that was crummy.  After about 15 minutes of being awake she face planted and got a bloody nose putting her Mama into a tizzy, racing (25 mph) to church to ask the more experienced Mommies if her nose was broke.  It wasn't.  Still worth a whine though, don't you think?

Do you have dubs today friends?  Let's have 'em!

I am in love with these NFL on Fox commercials- there will be more to come.  Apparently when you're a Superbowl champ every day is a giant woo-hoo!

Mols, Mols, Let Down Your Big Fear

My little Molly is brave.  Every day she reminds me she isn't scared of anything, namely, sharks, T-Rexs, quicksand, or the big bad wolf.  But she isn't afraid of more um, probable things either.  Being in front of a crowd?  No, I've seen her hop on stage to perform at church (embarrassing, but I certainly wasn't going up after her!).  She has never had stranger anxiety- in fact I wish she would discriminate just a bit more.  Dogs don't scare her and being alone in the dark is a big adventure.  As you may remember from this post, creepy baby dolls don't phase her.

So I didn't think twice before taking her to Tangled even though it was rated PG.  She was SO excited (and hello! A new Disney princess?  So was I!).  She bounced through the previews in delight (did you know they're making a movie of Justin Bieber's life?  I looked over and she was pumping her fist in excitement- apparently his fame has now penetrated the preschool crowd)  The entire movie was going great.  I wouldn't hesitate to use the word enthralled here.  She was absolutely enthralled.  At the climatic moment at the end I briefly thought, "this could be scary for a 3 year old".  I look over at Mols.  She is shaking in fear.  Tears are pouring down her face.  I frantically pull her onto my lap, "I want to go home now" she cries "I want to go home NOW!"  My heart broke for her!

We did tough out the last (less than) two minutes left and she seems to have no memory of the "part at the end".  She is in love with Rapunzel and more vain than ever about her hair, showing great favor to other blondes.  (I swear I don't know where she gets this.  Do I have any redhead readers?  Holllllaaaa!)

So I guess the moral of my story is: even seemingly unshakable three year olds can be shook.  Have you guys taken your kiddos to see Tangled yet?  How did they react?  It really was a darling movie.

Speaking of scary, has Burger King finally abandoned their masked king commercials?  I sincerely hope so- I vote for more Whopper Jr's escapades and other funny ads like this one:

Tuesday Hop

Follow Me Back Tuesday is hosted by Survey Junkie, Little Yaya's, & Boobies,BabiesAndABlog..
Link up!  There are so many great blogs participating! 

A Post Thanksgiving Ode

Holiday season is in full swiiiing!  No more messing around, game faces on!  Bring it Santa!  Do I have some Jewish readers?  Hannukah starts Thursday?!  I don't know how you are doing it!  I am going to need every second between now and Dec. 24 to make this Christmas happen!

But I don't want to get ahead of myself.  First let me rehash Thanksgiving for you.  I think it can best be expressed poetically:

We were off to my in-laws at ten
With 15+ loaves of bread in hand
They don't trust me to bake
So I was in charge of bread to take.

The only young kids were M and A
But teenage cousins were nice enough to play.
Dinner was yummy
Now I have a huge tummy.

Here's the dessert list- try not to salivate:
Beside the pumpkin pies there was a plate
of pumpkin bars and apple pie,
a Snickers cake so rich I thought I'd die,
apple carmel pie and chocolate pie too
an apple streusel pie and a whole slew
of candy bars and chocolate covered nuts
by the time were were done we had doubled our butts.
Then out came the brownies to wash it all down
And then it was back up for a second round.

Needless to say I was hurtin' real bad
The only comfort I found was in the Target ads.
If I never blog about a commercial again,
It's because nothing can top this perfect ten.
The series is funny, the actress just right,
Her over the topness sheds hilarious light
on our own sanity this time of year
so let's relax and enjoy some holiday beer cheer!


This one is my favorite hands down!  I love the "rum tummy tum" part!

WWW Wednesday: Holiday Edition!

Whine:  Did you think just because it is Thanksgiving Eve I wouldn't whine?  Wrong!  But it is a pretty minor whine today.  I can't get "Sex Bomb" out of my head.  It's like I have a little Tom Jones wriggling around in my brain.  I blame David Hasselhoff's DWTS return last night.  Here, you're welcome to share in my misery if you like:


Wish:  For my Christmas decorations to magically organize themselves.  I wish this every year.  That I could be someone who bounces into her basement and grabs from a neat stack of bins, the ones labeled (in beautiful calligraphy?) "Christmas decorations- upstairs", "Christmas decorations- outside", "Christmas tree ornaments"... you get the picture.  Instead I dig through torn boxes from the 80s to find 2 ornaments amidst Easter baskets and old CDs, stockings stuffed in plastic Meijer bags and crammed in the tree stand, etc.  It's pretty ugly down there.  Eh, maybe next year.

Woo-hoo!  My Christmas decorations are up!!  Don't you judge me, Christmas decorations-shouldn't-be-up-until-after-Thanksgiving disciples.  I am pumped!  And here's a nice segue into my Thankful thought for the day.  I'm so thankful for nativity scenes.  I just love them.  I may or may not have cried when I unpacked mine today.  Speaking of which, I may be doing something wrong with Mols.  She seems to be wanting to pray to Santa these days when I tuck her in.  I think we finally reached the agreement she could pray for Santa, but not to Santa.  Eek.  We'll have to work a bit more on that reason for the season thing.

A holiday gift idea?  How about a new cooler for your husband?  How about a new cooler for your husband stocked with his favorite beers?  Something tells me your 2011 will be especially fabulous after that rockin' gift! 

X Marks la Spot

Aujourd'hui I am thankful for Franglais because I think it's absolutely hi-lar-i-ous!  Throwing a French word in the middle of an English sentence?  Kills me every time.  Or just saying French words in a WAY over the top accent.  I wish this were a vlog so I could demonstrate.  You should be thanking your lucky stars this is not a vlog and you are spared my ridiculous faux French accent.  Incidentally, this is a stupid habit I formed in college, along with writing phonetic messages to my roommates on the dry erase board (I tried to insert a funny example here, but I don't know how to type schwas or the little dots or lines over letters... do you?  Parce que je voudrais beacoup to know how that works!

I'm also thankful for X brand food!  We hosted a mini Thanksgiving here tonight, serving the traditional Thanksgiving tacos.  Food is pricey, right?  And we have nothing to show for it but saddlebags (me) and greasy little fingers (M and A) so I hate to spend money on it.  But buying Meijer brand stuff makes opening the ole pocketbook a bit easier.  I do draw the line at diapers and peanut butter though (for those of you who shop at Meijers: I'll vouch for almost all their branded items except these).

What obscure things are you guys thankful for today?

Today's commercial doesn't really feature an item as much as a store, but I trust you'll find at least one great gift if you swing by Pier 1.  Later, if I can find the actual Pier 1 commercial I wanted I'll be posting that too.  In the meantime, be on the lookout for it- it's tres cute!

A Week of Thanks

It's Thanksgiving Week!  I think that calls for a theme week, no?  Let's go with the obvious: things I'm thankful for.  And in the spirit of the shopping insanity about to ensue I'll feature commercials that will hopefully give you some gift ideas.  (So this is a kinda sorta helpful blog.  I did this last year too.  See this post).

Now, obviously I'm thankful for the usual suspects- family, health, food... that all goes without saying.  But I'm also thankful for the luxury that is The Learning Channel.  Last night there was a Sister Wives special on.  It was especially disgusting.  TLC provides every kind of wedding show you could ever want (I used to plan my college courses around The Wedding Story.  Classic.)  The Baby Story of course, is the sweetest torture for those dying for a baby.  I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant is a different kind of torture for teen girls who think there's no way they could get knocked up.  They'll think twice the next time they have the flu or gain a couple pounds.  And of course, the I'm Pregnant and.... shows.  Last night I watched I'm Pregnant and It Could Kill Me (she had cervical cancer and waited until baby came along to start treatment). 
Not to even mention The Duggars, the Little Couple, Little People Big World, and their numerous and enrapturing specials on never-heard-of-before-diseases.

I love this stuff.  Sure, there may be something deeply, severely wrong with me but I just love it.  This Monday I am thankful for The Learning (about bizarre pregnancies and gross polygamists) Channel.

If you know somebody without a GPS you would be doing them a great disservice to NOT buy them one.  I would be homebound without mine.  Plus, they have great commercials as you may remember from previous posts.  No doubt they'll show up on Ad Bits again.

Meet Me Monday

I'm trying a new blog hop today just for the fun of it!  Stop by Inspiring You 2 Save if you want to link up!

End of Week Nutshell

Here are some of the highlights and lowlights of the last couple days:

Finished A's leg warmers! :)
Not happy with finished leg warmers. :(
Finally figured out Hello Kitty scarf pattern that once flew across my living room! (see this post)
Took kids to the heaven on earth that is Jumping Jax (an indoor bouncy house gallery)!  Forgot camera and was mad.
Exhausted from jumping, girlies (and me!) slept in today!
Discovered camera was in purse the whole jumpin' time.  Kicked self.
Finally went shopping so I wouldn't have to serve bowls of mayonnaise for dinner tonight.
Shopping bag broke and spaghetti sauce splattered all over garage floor, my shoes, and leg.  Left mess there for Jim to clean up.
Opened my new sundried tomato and basil Wheat Thins only to find they were already open.  Was mad.
Made apple cinnamon turnovers with Molly.  Yum.  Was happy.  Am still happy.

And that's where things stand with  me right now friends.  This afternoon the girls and I are hitting the stores armed with a Christmas shopping list for easy to buy for family members and pets.  Of course I'll also be armed with pretzels, granola bars and other bribes to keep my munchkins quiet happy.  Fingers crossed Molly won't be too disappointed when we don't find the giant scooter that she's convinced will make the best Christmas present ever for her daddy.

This is my favorite commercial out there right now- hope it fires you up for your shopping as well!

WWW Wednesday

Whine:  Aughhhhh!  As mothers we are supposed to be the world's best multi-taskers, right?  Normally I feel like I can multitask with the best of them- I can scrub toilets and chit-chat on the phone (one of my riskier maneuvers), I can drive with  my knees while signing the words to Molly's Bible songs and making faces at A to keep  her awake (again, risky, I know); right now I'm eating pretzels, drinking Diet Coke, blogging, and pretending to be a brontosaurus.  So you would THINK I'd be able to watch DWTS without screwing up my knitting!  The worst part is I was at the very end of leg warmer #1 and I didn't realize my screw up until I was completely finished.  It's not terribly noticeable, but I know it's there and will know it's there every time A wears them. :(  Boo.

Wish:  I wish I could get my hiney out of bed earlier.  Every single day I set my alarm for an hour before the girlies get up.  10% of the time I actually get up.  The other 90% I hit dismiss, snuggle down deeper into my warm, cozy, most comfy bed in the world and zonk out until a munchkin cries for me.  My bible study homework this week touched on the fruits of the spirit and the last one in particular.  You guessed it.  Self-control.  Oops.  But really, if God wanted me up earlier he wouldn't have brought such a fabulously comfortable bed into my life, right?

Woo-hoo!  Let's just list a slew of woo-hoos shall we?  With exclamation points at the end of each one?  Kyle Massey is in the DWTS finals!  Jim got not one, but 2 beautiful bucks!  I accomplished MORE Christmas shopping yesterday!  I cleaned out my closet to make room for new clothes I get at Christmas  make some donations to Goodwill!  It rained a beautiful, silent rain today and my dog didn't make a peep!  I learned to send a text to multiple recipients on my new phone (there are so many instances in which I want to tell both my brother and my sister what dweebs they are)!  Woo freakin' hoo Friends! 

What are your dubs this week? 

I love this guy- he looks like his life is one giant woo-hoo!

Quickstep On By

In the last few weeks I've fallen hook, line, and swinger for Dancing With The Stars.  I think I've made a huge mistake the last 11 years in NOT watching this glorious dance-off!  Too bad for you guys, of course because now you have to hear about it every week.  But I find it's really satisfying the hole The Biggest Loser left in my reality show viewing lineup.  Does it leave me hungry for salsa?  Yes.  But it's still worth it.

SO, I am happy with all in the final four, but I think I'm cheering for Kyle Massey.  Which reminds me of an embarrassing thing that happened to me yesterday.  I was chatting with a mom at Molly's soccer practice and the conversation turned to DWTS.  She didn't know who Kyle Massey was.  When a physical description didn't help her, I was forced to rattle off his resume. 

Me: He's a Disney star.  He was on That's So Raven, then had his own show on Disney for a while called Cory in the House that didn't do so great.  It was about him living in the White House because his dad was a chef for the President.  Now he's the voice of Milo on the new animated series, Fish Hooks.
Soccer Mom (in a pleasant, but horrified kind of tone): Ok.  I won't tell anyone you just said that.
Me (dying inside): Thanks.

Now I know and you guys may know I frequent channels 290, 291, and 292 (Disney East Coast, West Coast, and Disney XD), but I imagine it can come as quite a shock to hear a fully grown woman spew out tween trivia the way I can.  Luckily it wasn't Selena Gomez or Hilary Duff on DWTS or else I'd still be spewing all over this "interested in age-appropriate things" soccer mom. 

Embarrassing, right?  Judge me if you must, but not before I hit you with some puns.  First let me just say what fox(trots) those pro dancers are, right?  Mambo mia!  The judges are fun, although sometimes they seem to have chips (and salsa) on their shoulders.  I was sad to see Florence Henderson go, but she seemed to have hit a wall(tz).  Tonight I plan to swing by my living room couch to tune in.  Maybe I'll enjoy a nice rumba and Coke too.  Ahhh... it's good to be ajive.  I'll stop now.  It's time for me to (tan)go anyway.  Cha cha for now!

Color Me Crazy

Reason #bajillion33 why I love Molly: she thinks I'm a straight-up culinary genius for feeding her such exquisite meals as scrambled eggs and applesauce.  "Mommy, you make great meals every night!" she exclaimed (the previous night I had picked up a rotisserie chicken).  God knew what he was doing giving me a girl who has a less than sophisticated palate.  I believe tonight our four star meal will consist of waffles and apples.  What's up now Julia Child?

Reason #bajillion33 why I love Adrienne: she has a temper!  I know this won't always be cute, but when she chucks her bottle clear across the room when I try to wipe her nose I can't help but crack up! (how infuriating for her, right?)  Or when she's mad about taking a nap and shoves my face away when I move in for a kiss?  I actually sort of love it.  She's so laid back and sweet normally, if it weren't for these little tantrums I'd worry people would walk all over her.  But nope- anyone who tries any funny business with this munchkin will suffer the wrath!  Love it!

Of course, now that A is getting older, my girls have morphed from indifferent roommates to partner in crime playmates.  This is what I want, it is.  Sort of.  In related news, tomorrow I'm off to buy a Magic Eraser to work on getting crayon off the door, pen off the stairwell, and eyeliner off the wall (it's surprising difficult to remove!)  If you guys have any tips for kiddie art removal please clue me in!  I've tried the obvious: soap and water, Goo Gone, miscellaneous chemicals...  I've heard good things about Magic Eraser though- you?



Edit: I actually wrote the above yesterday.  Today I bought a Meijer brand "Erasing Sponge" (Magic Erasers were out of stock- good sign!) and I've been scrubbing ever since.  We have a glorious invention on our hands!  I'm completely in love and am going to write Mr. Clean encouraging them to bring to market a Magic Toothbrush so I can get hard water stains out of my grout.  Am I on to something or what?!

Imma Champ!

I'm champion of the world today!!  Or, champion of Visaville at least.  I put a good size dent in my Christmas shopping today, but was methodical and smart about all my purchases!  I even managed to get myself a couple items without spending a cent.  Thanks to some gift cards from last Christmas.  Champion!

In other exciting news, Jim and I are going out tonight for dinner and drinks with a couple friends, almost like we're real people with real social lives!  Wild!

Is P-Diddy still hip and cool?  Or tiiiiiight as the kids say (or used to say?)  In any event, here is a commercial featuring the rad Mr. Combs.  Cirock and roll baby!


Objection!  The explosive fist pound IS smooth!  It IS! 

Jules' Laws... Repeat

Here's a Friday Flashback friends.  It won't look familiar to you because it was originally written before anyone actually read my blog.  So happy you're here now!

Jules' Laws
My brother has long held the position that taking saunas should be a men-only experience (no, he's straight). Unfortunately for him I love me a sweatin' good time (Richard Simmons, eat your heart out!) In fact, it was in the sauna that my dad reminded me of the "Man Law" commercials by Miller Lite. How could I forget such awesomity! Such funnariness! Such brilliantary use of celebrities! Not to mention Miller makes good points. See below for my favorites.

Yeah, we don't know where those fingers have been.


Boys, I'd like to introduce you to the fist-pound.


I'd clink bottoms with you any day Mr. Reynolds.  Burt if you're nasty.

WWW Wednesday

Update: Last week I introduced the theory that perhaps WWW Wednesdays were somehow magical because after I whined about something, the problem solved itself!  If you remember, I tested my theory last week by mentioning a private jet and less painfully dry skin.  I'm sorry to report, I remain jetless and dry.  Those are pretty big ticket items though, so I'm giving the bloggy powers that be some more time.

Whine: I need more hours. Particularly around this time of year.  I know I'm not the only one.  Can I get a "holla"?!  Today I started my Naughty and Nice lists, (I was hoping to save a few bucks this year, but everybody has been pretty stinkin' nice) itemizing gift ideas for each person.  It quickly became clear I should have started this list in March because there are several handmade gifts I want to make.  I calculated my time between now and Christmas and if I cut back about 3 hours/night on sleep, forgo eating, and hire a full-time nanny to watch the kids and give Jim some attention I'm still coming up short.  What's that?  Cut out Internet surfing?  Surely you jest!

Wish: My girls stay friends with the very friends they have now.  And make new ones of course, but I just love their sweet little friendships right now.  Plus, Molly is three.  Which is the age I was when I made two of my very dearest friends in the world.  I love making new friends, but there is a lot to be said for a friend who watched you through every embarrassing hair style, fashion disaster, and heartbreak; a friend who pushes you on the swings and later stands in your wedding, with whom you share precious Halloween candy and later, maternity clothes.  You know, the friend who loves your parents and siblings as her own and then is great friends with your husband and adores your kids as her own.  I hope you all have these buddies and I wish wish wish my girls to have them too. 
Note: now I'm crying for the second time today.  The first was when I was reading Knuffle Bunny Free to Molly.  Have mercy!  There should be a sob disclaimer on page one of that story!

Woo-hoo!  Today I made this dip that I'm obsessssed with!  I'll put the recipe up on "Bits I Make".  That's right- I woo-hoo on a regular basis about food and today it's a doozie.  I got the recipe from Deceptively Delicious (but I leave out the pureed carrots because I'd hate to be too healthy, right?) and I am going to eat it with lime tortilla chips for every meal until it's gone.  Love it.  But if you're looking for a more substantial woo-hoo, my sister is coming to visit tomorrow and staying until Sunday!  I don't get enough of that girl, so I'm super pumped.  And she doesn't usually hack into my Facebook account or hide creepy dolls in my pantry (see here) so that's cool too.  Woo-hoo within the woo-hoo: she's babysitting Saturday night so J and I can hit the town like the cool hipsters we are! (heehee)

Remind me to never have a whiny Wednesday with this guy (whose use of the word "jackwagon" made my whole year- I'll be repeating often.  Consider yourself warned.)

This Is Nuts!

I know it's WWW Wednesday and I promise to get to that later, but this couldn't wait!  Huge news!  Mr. Peanut speaks!  Check it out:



Incidentally my favorite Planters commercial does not even feature Mr. Peanut, but this hottie boomalottie instead:

Cow Belle!

I milked a cow today!  Those of you gazing out your front window at your very own dairy cows probably aren't impressed, but it was a big deal for a city girl like me.  Not as big a deal of course, as the time I helped deliver a calf (read about that experience here), but I was pretty pumped (much like the cow's udder!)  I don't want to brag, but I got milk out on the first try.  And I think the cow liked me.  That is, she didn't kick me in the head.

Here's Mols meeting a baby cow a while back:

If you don't have a friend with a dairy farm I highly recommend you get one- farms are just fascinating and... farmy.  Many times when we visit my friends' farm I put my girls in overalls because I just feel like I should.  Thanks to them, A's first animal noise was a cow, closely followed by a barn cat (which sounds strikingly similar to a non-barn cat!).  Visits to the farm also make me feel all rugged (for me that is).  Case in point, we took our kiddos for a walk down the road (yes, it was dirt) and Molly had to go potty.  Usually her spontaneous bladder is not a problem- we simply pull into a gas station or Taco Bell.  Today when she announced she had to go I think my exact words were, "Molly!  You've got to be kidding me!"  There was no where to go.  Except for the acres and acres of nature.  My friend pointed out she could just go right where we were, so she did.  Clumsily, yes, but she didn't saturate her clothes, which was all I really cared about.  And bonus!  I had tissues in my pocket!  Resourceful me! 

I'll spare you guys all my farmy puns.  Ha!  Did you fall for that?  It's a bunch of bull.  You've got to know I could never steer clear of cow puns!  Besides, I herd most people appreciate a good cow joke.  Ok!  I'll stop before you hoof on out of here without watching this fly commercial.  (Get it?  Fly?  Because cows attract flies?  No?  Alright, fair enough).  Seriously though, I'm in love with this commercial wholeheartedly.  Not just calfheartedly.

Count Me In

Fellow Bloggers, do you obsess over your Number?  You know... your Followers?  I do.  For instance, right now I have one hundred fifteen (doesn't that look better than 115?)  But I know of a few people*
who read my blog on at least a kinda-sorta regular basis, but aren't Followers- seven I can think of off hand.  However, (and this is an embarrassing but true fact about me) five of my actual Followers are family members that I took the liberty of setting up myself.

I know, pathetic.

I've lost a total of three Followers- two on one day (right after I posted this post about Jim... maybe baby giraffes offend some people??  I had no way of knowing that!)  These losses saddened me for days as though I'd lost my most favorite pair of shoes.  (If any of you are thinking of leaving I hope I'm doing a good job of guilting you into sticking around.  I have no problem with a pity Follow).

Am I crazy?  Do you other Bloggers fret as I do over your Number?  Or have I completely laid my insecurities out there in the nude for the entire blogosphere (or at least 115 members of the blogosphere) to poke fun at?  Prod away, I'm embracing my vulnerabilities today!  Plus, I'm confident I can sway you to stay with this hi-lar-ious commercial that has become a favorite here at Ad Bits.  It was emailed to me today by an unofficial Follower and real life friend whom I adore, with the note that she and her kiddos love it.  That could go without saying because hello!  Who wouldn't love this ad?  Even I, with my weird rodent phobia love this commercial and may or may not be headed to Rhapsody as soon as this post is finished to download the soundtrack onto my MP3 player.  That's for me to know.


*I adore my unofficial Followers!  You guys give me faith that maybe there are others reading my blog too!  Maybe my number is more like 1,115!!! 

Shower Me With Fun

What an insanely busy few days!  Biz.  Ee.  But fun!  My whole family was in town for my sister-in-law to be's shower (which we DID have power for, God love you for your electrical wishes).  The shower was a success as far as I know.  The bride had a hefty stash to haul home so that's a good sign, right?  She also got to meet a lot of our family and she still seems to want to marry into our insanity so that's good news too.  Here is my brother, his fiance, and their little dog:

I spent today catching up with my kids.  While I've been prepping for the shower the last few days my dear girls have been shooed into the playroom, coaxed into bed early, given fake jobs to keep them out of my way occupied ("why don't you count you count tiles for me?  Done?  Okaaaay... now, count the eyelets on all these shoes.  That has to be done before any successful bridal shower.")  The end result is that I miss playing with my babies!  For all my talk about craving adult conversation, I was happy to be Molly's pet unicorn this afternoon.

This is my favorite commercial right now.  Travelers is becoming quite a contender in the advertising arena.  I think the soundtrack totally makes this one. 

My Day At School

I don't normally blog on Thursdays.  But even if I wanted to yesterday, all the Diet Cokes in the world could not have given me the energy to move my fingers about a keyboard.  Why?  Because November 4th was my day to be the parent volunteer in Molly's class.

I overcame my first hurdle with flying colors: Molly didn't even protest me going in with her!  She didn't excitedly drag me in by the hand and begin showing me her cubby, art area, and new friends of course, but I would never have expected that.  It was more like, "You're coming in?  Ok, I'll probably run into you at some point then."  Which was fine with me as I was expecting a full-fledged, "Preschool is just for children!" tantrum.

My first job was to help the kids locate their name tags and pin them on their shirts.  I did it!  Piece of cake!  I'd be a great teacher! 

The kids have ten minutes of free time before they congregate on the big circle.  I was a huge hit!  "Teacher!  Teacher!  [who me?! yes! me!] will you do this puzzle with me?  Will you play cheetahs with me? [??] I made you a pizza, I made you a cake!"  They vied for my attention and I began a speech to Jim in my head, "I think I want to get a degree in education.  I've missed my calling and it's a 3 year old voice saying, 'you shoulda been a preschool teacher!'"

Next is circle time, where M introduced me (unnecessary since I was already BFFs with these kiddos!); we sang songs, read a book, etc.  Kids wanted to sit on my lap and I felt like the Homecoming Queen of the Tuesday/Thursday morning preschool class.

I assisted my mini buddies with animal bingo (everyone wins!) and then it was time for snack (apparently parent volunteers just help serve- we don't actually partake in snack) and more free time.  My eye caught the clock.  Hm.  Earlier than I would have guessed.

The rest of the day is an exhausted blur.  I was starving.  I had the kind of headache that slams your brain against your skull every time you take a step.  The kids were not as cute getting a second wind and I could not keep up anymore.  I planted myself at the art table and repeated, "I like all the colors you used" and "You worked so hard on that" to whomever sat down beside me.

Finally, mercifully, it was recess and then!  "Thank you Molly's mommy!"  We were outta there.  Molly has asphalt burn down the side of her face from me dragging her, manically racing to my car.  When we got home I noticed another mom had snuck a note in her backpack about chipping in for the teachers' Christmas gifts.  Timely.  They will be getting a hefty gift from this non-teacher!

Chuck Norris.  Hah!  He's got NOTHING on the preschool teachers of the world.

Bonus Woo-hoo!

I have another woo-hoo!  I had the great honor of being a guest blogger (my first time!) at Hanging Off The Wire.  Hayley does a great job over there and is having a rockin' Bloggy Birthday Bash!  I highly recommend stopping by and joining in the fun!  Here's the link to my guest post: Let's Get Metaphysical.

WWW Wednesday

Whine: I've noticed the last few Wednesdays whenever I put something into my whine blurb, the issue magically goes away!  WWW Wednesdays are miraculous!  A couple examples:  I whined about my phone... I have a new phone that I love!  I whined about not reading any good books... please note the new recommendation in my sidebar!  Molly refused to wear the same outfit as Adrienne... as you can see from yesterday's picture, the identical sundresses I bought in next summer's sizes will NOT go to waste!  So I'm going to do a little experiment today and whine that I don't have a private jet and uh... my skin is crazy dry right now.  Let's see if these issues work themselves out in the coming week!

Wish: I wishy wish wish the bridal shower I'm having Saturday goes smoothly!  The last time I had a shower the power went off at my house the day before so I was trying to keep food cold and not give my guests salmonella.  I also had to follow everyone into the bathroom and dump water into the tank to flush for them.  And it was about 100 degrees and really, everybody just wanted to get the heck out of here.  Including me.  So all I wish for is power on Saturday.  Please send your very best bloggy wishes to me- I trust your wish power will keep my home electric.

Woo-hoo!  Elections are over!  Whatever your party, how thrilled are we that the political ads are off  our TVs and radios?!  I could NOT be happier!  I prefer my commercials to be manipulating me into buying an actual product thank you very much.  I've missed the usuals- the fast food ads, the insurance spots, the beer commercials.  Welcome back old friends!
Also (and I'm not sure this is exactly a woo-hoo; it actually freaked me right out), yesterday (Nov. 2nd) I noticed a fully stocked Christmas aisle at Wal-Mart.  Christmas?!  I love Christmas but wow!  Now I'm feeling a little panicky.  As I get more stressed out, this development may move into a whine, but for now I'm jumping on the bandwagon with a Christmasy commercial:

Matchers Again!

An update: Molly has stopped protesting matching outfits!!!  I know you were on pins and needles about this hot topic, so the news is good.  When I pulled out their matching cupcake jammies she squealed in delight and my heart soared (while my stomach growled and mouth watered at the sight of the cupcakes).  Here they are:

Speaking of Molly squealing in delight, I'm missing a chunk of my tongue today thanks to her enthusiasm.  Saturday night I tucked her in and reminded her the next day was Halloween.  Bad idea.  She threw her hands into the air and brought her knees to her chest.  On the way up they smacked my chin, I saw stars, and now I'm talking like some kind of freaky bad ventriloquist.  Kids can really put a hurtin' on their parents, right?  Adi has taken to yanking my hair in protest whenever I wipe food off her mouth.  Jeesh!  It's a good thing they're cute and still wear matching outfits for me.

Here's an irrelevant question, but I'm wondering what you guys think about this.  M ran up to a house to trick-or-treat the other day and the guy gave her some candy and then took her picture.  Would you be freaked out?  I'm confident he was harmless, but is that weird?  Did any strangers take your children's pictures?

Other things that weird me out?  Doorhandles in public restrooms.  Target speaks to my soul yet again.

Hello Dolly

Good news!  I wasn't mauled by a bear!  The weekend was lovely- relaxing and fun.  Of course, I'm happy to be back to civilization now with a considerably lower risk of wild animal attacks.

Did everyone have a fun Halloween?!  I do not remember Halloween stretching out so long when I was little!  I wish it would have!  It's fine with me though, because the girls got a ton of use out of their costumes. Practically $1 per wear!  (that's quite an exaggeration but typing it makes me feel like a rockstar bargain shopper!)  We have enough candy to tide us over until Halloween 2011 (Lie!  With my help it will be gone before you can say, "I'm a hungry, hungry goblin") so I think it was a successful year.

In other Haloweeny news, I arrived home late Saturday night from my very relaxing weekend, quickly put the girls in bed, tidied up a little and opened my pantry to put something away.  This is what I found:

Why in the world I would ever let my brother alone in my house is a mystery.  Do you remember last time I left him?  See this post.  What a punk!  So I did what any warped Mommy would do... left it in there and instructed Molly to get some crackers out of the pantry.  What did she do when she opened the door?  Giggled.  And kept looking for crackers.  I asked what was so funny and she laughed, "there's a baby doll in here!"  So much for scaring some curl into her hair.  My daughter is already braver at three than I will ever be.

Note: this doll is not ours.  We have friends who brought it over for the express purpose of putting it in Jim's truck to scare him.  The hilarious evil plan worked and after that he put it high, high up in our garage behind a bunch of junk so we'd never accidentally see it.  My point is this: if it were actually our property it would be in the dumpster.  Also, my sick brother went to great lengths to get this thing out and into my pantry.  If you have a brilliant idea how I could get him back, I'm accepting ideas!

This is a very busy week. I have lots going on and I'm hosting a bridal shower at my house Saturday.  I could use a dog like Harvey: