Friday, April 29, 2011

More On the Royal Wedding

I did not get up this morning to watch Kate and William's wedding.  But I've been watching it on repeat every single moment since I woke up... I can't get enough of those two royal lovebirds!  I totally want to be Kate Middleton.  Not because she's married to William, no (I'm a bigger fan of Harry anyway), but because who the fajibbities doesn't want to be a princess?!  I'll take my crown minus the paparazzi and scandal and scrutiny though thanks.  And can she ever just bust out her nerdiest dance moves wearing her scuzziest sweats in the kitchen?  Because that's a luxury I can't live without.  It's probably better I'm just little old commoner Jules.

This is an important day.  And you know I love to commemorate important days with stupid puns!  I don't know about you guys, but I was totally throne by how many people showed up for the wedding.  Some of the girls there were queen with envy.  But William's bride got her cake and kate it too!  I hope Harry Englands himself a nice girl; someone who isn't kingdumb.  Now that the wedding is over, I have to say, I will sort of miss the princessant news coverage!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Only the Best WWW Wednesday Ever!

Whine:  I have a big fat mouth!  It's so hard to keep it closed!

Wish:  I wish I could have spilled the beans weeks ago!

Woo-hoo!  I'm having a baby!!  Another little baby!  Lucky number three!  I've been dying to tell you guys, but wasn't sure if this was the kind of thing I wanted to announce to the blogosphere.  But the bottom line is: there is just too much blog material that comes with pregnancy to NOT write about it!  This may also explain why 90% of my posts lately have been food centered (not really, but only because I made a HUGE effort to reign in the food-talk.  Now all bets are off, and you will have to hear regularly about cheese popcorn and the like.)

Also during the DWTS results show last night I saw this great and totally appropriate commercial.  They put popcorn in the microwave oven.  Just like I have a bun in the oven.  But Criss Angel had nothing to do with my situation.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

This Is Not My Diary

I had such a great day today.  For starters I helped out in Molly's classroom.  Remember last time I did that?  You can read about it here.  This time I made extra double super-duper sure I was rested up and ate an enormous breakfast to avoid the extreme hunger that nearly did me in last time.  When I got home my saint of a mother-in-law had lunch (pizza!) ready to come out of the oven.  She also brought a birthday cake for Molly and we celebrated her birthday for the eighteen-hundredth time.

In the afternoon, Jim took Molly outside to play and Adrienne and I napped.  My nap was a full, heavenly hour.  Because even though I got a bajillion hours of sleep last night?  Those preschoolers suck any banked sleep right out of me.  It rocked. 


It just occurred to me I'm breaking the #1 rule of blogging: don't treat your blog as your diary.  Sorry.  It's just that it was such a great day.  But I'll cut to the chase.  Molly and I baked these little babies and they only contributed more glory (read: chocolate) to my already rockstar day.

In lieu of a commercial today, here's the recipe, compliments of Taste of Home:

Crescent Bundle Surprises
1 tube (8oz) refrigerated crescent rolls
8 fun-size Snickers candy bars, halved (I know!  You're pumped now, right?)
1/4 cup cream cheese frosting

Separate crescent dough into 8 triangles; cut each in half, forming two triangles.  Place a candy bar half on each triangle.  Fold dough over candy and pinch corners together to seal.  Place on an ungreased baking sheet.

Bake at 375 for 15-18 minutes or until golden.  Remove to a wire rack.  Cut a small hole in the corner of a resealable plastic bag.  Fill bag with frosting; pipe over rolls.  (I skipped that and just smeared some on with a knife- that's just more my style, but whatevs!)

Monday, April 25, 2011

iLaugh at the iRider

Did everyone have a great Easter!?  Ours was fantastic.  The Easter bunny stupidly forgot the basket stuff at home two and a half hours away and didn't realize it until 10:30 Saturday night.  Luckily, Wal-Mart was miraculously open 24 hours in the sparsely populated Northern Michigan town the night before a major holiday, so Easter was saved!

My brain was fried all weekend and it's still fried today.  Happily, I found this ad that really makes all my jokes for me.  I think my favorite part is when she says her sons are "intrigued" by the iRider.  I'm sure they are.  Something tells me the boys' buddies have a habit of stopping by when their mom is squeezing in her workout.  She mentions her sons start to throw the ball a little hard at her.  Lady?  It's because they're trying to knock you off.

If you have this um... tool?  You have to tell me.  So I can tease you mercilessly inquire about its effectiveness.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Between the Sheets

My baby turns four on Sunday.  Four!  She celebrated by puking in my bed last night.  Oh don't worry, my bed is used to it from the previous night when Adrienne puked in my bed.  My bed is Puke Central.  Of course, I mostly feel bad for my poor, sick munchkins, but I also certainly feel bad for me.  And my barfy bed.  Happily, A got it all out of her system and has been a picture of health ever since.  Fingers crossed the same goes for M because who wants to be sick on her birthday/Easter?!

In celebration of my dear girl's birthday, let me just say a couple things:
* Is there anything in the world like your first born baby?  (That is my last semi-sentimental thought because I'm already crying.  Lack of sleep does that to me.)
* Molly was 12 days late to enter the world.  Twelve.  Days.  That's a lot of days when you're a giant walrus.  I tried everything including eating macaroni and cheese with A1 sauce to get her out.  Finally I bribed her: "tell you what, little baby, at some point before you turn four you can hurl in my bed.  You won't be able to do that if you never get out of my Me."
* She was born on a Tuesday and theoretically should be "full of grace."  Grace is her middle name, but that's all the grace my sweet girl has.  "Tuesday's child is full of puke" might be a more appropriate line to the rhyme.
* Her baby book (and A's too for that matter) only goes to age five.  I'm sorry, what?  Baby book people?  Do you HAVE children?  Are they NOT your babies after age five?!  It makes me insane.  I want a baby book that goes to age 65 please.  After that she can keep track of things on her own, but I think 65 is reasonable.

Have a fantastic Easter weekend, friends.  Here's hoping everyone keeps their jelly beans down.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

WWW Wednesday

Whine:  Two words: Cabin.  Fever.  We are gagging for some playground fun, some sidewalk chalk, some jump rope, some bubble blowing.... something OUTSIDE!!!

Wish:  I fervently wish my butt crack wouldn't hang out of these jeans.  Embarrassing.

Woo-hoo!  I'm having dinner with my best girlfriends from high school tonight.  It's been too long since I've seen them.  So many people I know don't keep in touch with friends from high school, but these are some of my favorite people on the planet.  They knew me while I was being molded, you know?  While I was becoming me.  I had low self-esteem in those days (quite a contrast from the conceited Jules you know today!), but I always knew I couldn't be too much of a loser because I had such flippin' awesome friends.  Teen angst bonds people for life, don't you think?  I mean once you go through the drama of mad, unrequited crushes, rotten cheerleading coaches, biz-nitchity, gossipy girls, I have to believe you are bonded for life.  That kind of angst bonds like superglue.  I wouldn't let my butt crack hang out in front of anybody else.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Sunday With the Sisters

I’ve heard of this happening. I’ve read about it; I’m aware of it, and now I’m living it. I’m a little blogged out! I just don’t have much I want to blog about lately. Part of the problem has been that I’ve been crazy busy lately with (dunh dunh duuuunh) no time to watch TV! No TV watching means no commercial watching. No commercial watching means no bloggy inspiration.

So last night I sat down like a dedicated little blogger with my computer, a new episode of Sister Wives and a Dove chocolate bar. This was my favorite ad of the evening:

That William Shatner. I had no idea he was able to speak the clicky language. Is there anything he can’t do?!

On Sister Wives Meri had a colonoscopy- the smartest thing I’ve seen anybody on that show do incidentally. The family also had a dinner for their monogamous friends, (they called it a Friendship Appreciation dinner, and I choked on the cheesiness*) whom they claim didn’t know until recently they are polygamists. Puh-lease. They knew. There’s no WAY they didn’t know. There are things I don’t know about my friends, I’m sure, but I am confident they all have 0-1 husband.

And one other point. I’d rather die than have Jim watch my colonoscopy. If it weren’t for the baby at the end of the process, I would never even let him into labor and delivery.

*If you have Friendship Appreciation dinners, do not be offended. Every single thing the poly family does annoys me. If anybody else had a Friendship Appreciation dinner I would probably think it’s nice. Or at least a nice excuse for some wine.

Friday, April 15, 2011


I want to raise my kids to be goal-oriented.  So today I sat down with Molly and asked her what she would like to accomplish (we have a loose time frame of this summer).  Are you dying to know what kinds of goals an almost four year old has?  This is what we have so far:
  • Enter a hula-hoop contest (I Googled and found one on June 24, but it's open to all ages; if she gets pummelled (sp?) by a 40 year old I'm going to be ticked).
  • Run a race
  • Have a lemonade stand
  • Go to the zoo
  • Visit Molly in GA (a different Molly- my girlfriend who made my girls their tutus.  See this post).
  • Drink pop "when I'm bigger"
  • Learn to play a song on the piano (that one may have been my idea; I thought she was starting to slack with the "drink pop" goal).
  • Tell Santa to please get me Lelli Kellys (do I have that spelling right moms of girls?  I believe they're shoes?)
  • Grow a garden (you may think that was my idea too, but it was NOT!  I'm totally nervous about this one.  Mom, I'll be needing your help here!)
  • Go to friends' birthday parties.
Instead of making me hungry for Arby's, this makes me want cherry pie.  In fact, I'm putting that on MY list of goals: "Make and devour cherry pie."

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

WWW Wednesday

Whine: I'm just now blogging!   And my fridge smells like eggs.  As in 800 (give or take) hard boiled, ready to be dyed Easter eggs!  So I guess if the fridge is going to smell like egg, at least they're gorgeous-to-be Easter eggs.

Wish: I wish I was as cute as Selena Gomez.  She is such a button; I don't blame Justin Bieber for macking* on that.

Woo-hoo! I finally found sugar-free jelly beans!  I was looking all over for them and finally found them at Rite-Aid today!  Weeee!  Also, (in case you were wondering) my dress fitting was a piece of cake today (yum, cake.)  At least the dress fit, so if I can keep it fitting for another 2.5 weeks I'm golden!

And since it's T minus almost Easter, a classic Cadbury commercial:

*Oh geez.  Do people even say "macking" anymore?  If not, that's probably the least of my worries since I just confessed to the blogosphere what a total weenie, teeny-bopper I am.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Glutton For Punishment

I take three kinds of vacations:
  1. Super healthy vacations.  On these vacations I'm hiking all day and being really physical; on these trips, I usually have to eat whatever is available and it's usually healthy.
  2. Semi-healthy vacations.  This is your relaxing beach vacation variety.  Here of course, I'm tempted to drink margaritas all day and eat and eat (especially if we're talking about an all-inclusive!); but I keep myself in check for the most part because I am stuffing myself into a bathing suit daily.
  3. Trips like the one I just took.  Spring in Minnesota means no coat, but still jeans and long sleeves covering my flesh, so I can eat to my heart's desire.  Which I did.  All week.  Including the 13 hours there and back, during which I filled up on dark chocolate M&Ms and Bugles.
All the eating was awesome.  And I was able to justify a few calories at least by the ultra-shopping that took place all day, every day.  But not ALL the calories.  Not by a long shot.  This week I'm paying for my gluttony in three specific ways:
  1. Yesterday I had my first spin class since before Christmas.  Today I am in a world of hurt. 
  2. Tomorrow I have a bridesmaid dress fitting.  You'd think I would have learned my lesson after December's dress debacle.  (you can read about that here).
  3. Thursday I have a doctor's appointment.  And you know those sadistic nurses are going to weigh me.
So there you have it.  My week of constant eating being thrown in my face three times this week.  Not even counting the times I have to grab another pair of jeans because the first pair doesn't fit.  But you know what?  Still totally worth it.

Maybe I'll start living off granola bars.  Then, when you least expect it?  I'll strike like a cobra!

Monday, April 11, 2011

MinneSo Totally Cool

It's good to be home!  We had tons of fun in Minnesota.  Mostly, we ate and shopped.  My girls were great little SITs (shoppers-in-training).  In fact, Molly earned the nickname Mall-y by cheerfully enduring a marathon shopping event at the Mall of America.

Here are a few notes on Minnesota:
  • I used to live there!  I moved there right after college and got my first real job at a mortage company.  I've loved it ever since (Minnesota.  Not the mortgage company).  Don't think I didn't make my mom take my picture by my old apartment complex, because I did.
  • Bob Dylan and +* are from MN.  Rock on!
  • There is no sales tax on clothing in Minnesota.  It's like having a coupon for everything.  Sunglasses are NOT considered clothing; I learned that the hard way when I bought my $8 shades on Day 1 of vacation.
  • I was not on the I-35 bridge when it collapsed several years ago, but I was on it this trip. It seems very sturdy now.

    St. Croix river boat.
  • At the American Girl bistro.
Here is a commercial completely unrelated to Minnesota.  There aren't a ton of redheads in ads, and this one, I have to say, really drags us through the mud.

*Prince, that is.  Shockingly, my keyboard doesn't have his funky little symbol so a plus sign will have to do.

Monday, April 4, 2011

MN or Bust!

After thirteen hours in the car (felt like 300) we made it to Minnesota! On our way we saw the World's Largest Soup Kettle.  It's really big.  The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful.  I used to live on a big, tall horse, and did not let my kids watch DVDs in the car.  I was an idiot.  They watched two (Olivia and Veggie Tales) and it was the best thing I ever did.  I'll never go on a road trip without DVD players again.  My big, tall horse will have to find a new owner.

There is NO internet where we are staying.  I barely know what to do with myself.  I hauled myself down here to the public library to give a quick bloggy update, but may not get another chance.  Know when I do return to Ad Bits, I'll be chock full of awesome (or at least mediocre) stories.  Naturally, I'll also be keeping my eyes peeled for good commercials.

Off to rescue my mom from my girls.  This library already hates us.  Doubt I'll be back here this week.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Don't Schwanna Read This Post?

You’ve probably noticed I don’t blog on Thursdays and I’m sure you’re wondering why. (Right?!) It’s because I’m much too busy on Thursdays. Busy with things like plastering my face to my front window in anticipation of the Schwan’s man. For a girl who doesn’t cook much, the Schwan’s man is a very Big Deal. So big that he is joining the ranks of Meijer and Diet Coke. That’s right. I wrote him an ode.

An Ode to My Schwan’s Man

It’s Thursday and I’m panicked.
There’s nothing in the pantry,
There’s nothing in the fridge.
My family wants to eat more than just a smidge.

Like a white knight on his pony
My Schwans man rolls-aroni
Up my drive and to my door
With pricey food choices galore!

I don’t mind, I’ll pay whatever
Driving that truck up my crooked driveway is
No easy endeavor.

He shows up when it’s windy, rainy, or icy
With a new catalog of food so enticey!
I pick and choose all the best thingies:
Lasagna, soup, hot pretzels, or chicken wingies.

He pets my dog , averts his eyes when my kids are nude,
Under his moustache, a smile reflects his good attitude.
Every two weeks, my Schwan’s man will show
And I cram my freezer, wishing it would grow.

So when the kids ask
What’s for dinner tonight?
Instead of making them take another bite
Of PBJs, I can happily say,
“Anything you want! The Schwan’s man came today!”

Instead of a commercial today, can I just point out what I have to believe is YouTube's idea of an April Fool's Day joke?  This is the logo they have on their site today:
Funny.  But I would have expected something more video-ish from them.  Since, you know, they're a video website.  Cute though.  Cute.