Thursday, March 25, 2010

Good Hands and Good Armpits

Let's do a little compare and contrast exercise, shall we? I need your opinion here. Is the Old Spice commercial supposed to be a semi-spoof on Allstate? I mean both are black men, both ask viewers hypothetical questions, and both have deep, dreamy voices. (What?!)

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B: (I love that he says 'bajillion' because I say that at least once a day. For instance, "Molly, I've told you a bajillion times not to smash chapstick onto the TV screen!")

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Chugga Chugga Chew Chew!

I'm loving this commercial right now. It's a little risque I know, but not so awkward that you just want to die if your parents happen to be in the room when it comes on. (Do you hear me Axe? What say you put a little warning on before your ads so we can suddenly hear the baby crying or something?) Also, it's still above the heads of tykes so there aren't any awful questions or comments from the wee little peanut gallery (i.e. the "Naked Daddies" comment from my Feb. 5th blog entry). So it's just the right amount of subtle and funny. Happily, the actors all seem to be of an appropriate age too (maybe they should call it DenAdult instead of DenTeen- haha).

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Lovely Day For A Guinness

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Adbitters are in luck again today that I didn't opt for a vlog, otherwise you'd be stuck listening to my best leprechaun impression. As it is, you are about to read a super cheesy joke:
Q: Why shouldn't you ever iron a shamrock?
A: You don't want to press your luck!!

Tee hee hee! I do have a St. Patty's Day vent however, now that I have your attention. In honor of this day, listed the 12 hottest redheads. Here's the link- I'll give you a moment to check it out:
Did you see anything wrong with that?!?! I mean, besides Conan O'Brian making the list? (I'm a fan but come on! They must have been really hard pressed to find 12 gingers). Which brings me to my next point: their number one hottie was a FAKE red! Seriously? Cut her, cut Conan, and make the list a Top 10 like every other respectable list on the planet. Such a 'sault. It's like saying Madonna's version of American Pie is the best song ever. It can't be the best song ever! It's a cover!!!! (Although admittedly, Hendricks rocks her locks ten times better than Madge rocked that song).
Thanks for bearing with me for that. I'm now happy to present you with a couple Guinness commercials in honor of March 17.

Note: I bet in Ireland they cut the part about it not being the smartest idea to drink 6 bottles at once. They drink 6 bottles of Guinness before getting out of bed in the morning, right?

Monday, March 15, 2010

Right On.... Mark

This is the kind of mother I aspire to be. Not the Asian part- I think I'm SOL there, but that she's in a tree (sporting a cute camo ensemble) spying on her daughter, flipping spaghetti onto the guy (who is undoubtedly a scheming little weasel), and rockin' out during an Oreo-centered girls night. A few questions for Wendy though: why doesn't your daughter scream at you in horror for your embarrassing antics? And how is it that this guy (really tall for an Asian by the way!) is sticking around? Also, is your daughter watching Dora the Explorer while you do her hair? Because that's the only way I can get Molly to sit still for pigtails.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Spring It On

Today I woke to birds chirping outside my window- glorious! Another tell-tale sign that Spring may be here? Most the snow in our yard is gone, leaving a field of dog piles that hid in the snow all winter long. So, I grabbed the shovel and headed outside to rid the yard of the poop. (Readers, try not to be jealous of my ultra-glamorous life). Molly wanted to help, but I told her she couldn't walk on the grass (it was hard enough dodging the dung by myself, let alone steering her clear of it all). She asked several times to help and finally she hung her head sadly and said, "Mommy, when will I be old enough to pick up poop?" I'm happy to be documenting this story because I will undoubtedly need to use it someday when the time comes to pass the shovel.

"But what about a commercial Jules? Give us an Ad Bit!" Fiiiiiiine! How's this for timely: Red Robin! Their commercials are always cute, their onion rings are on the brink of lunacy (talk about glorious- they come on a stick!), they're named after the Michigan state bird, but more than anything I love their jingle. "Red Robin- yummmmm". Whomever came up with that was either an idiot or a genius. I'm going with genius.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Hi 5

Oh, if you read the previous post and are curious about the aforementioned "5" commercial, here it is. Very Sprite-y, yes?

Stanley Kubrick Does Sprite

Today I saw an ad for "5" gum (which I believe is the Gucci of gum- so sophisticated!) and I totally flashed back to the Sprite commercials from a few years ago! Do you guys remember these? They're very... Clockwork Orange-y. Take this one for instance:

The eyeball is a MOUTH!!! Clearly the Sprite advertising team is smoking some trippy stuff. Not convinced? Sip on this:

It just leaves me so conflicted. I mean, Sprite was always such an innocent soda. It was the children's beverage at every social event I attended in my youth. Caffeine-free so we didn't go nuts (coulda just waited a few years and watched their lobotomy-esque commercials), and clear so we wouldn't stain our fancy clothes or carpet. But now! It's a drink represented by weird guys performing seemingly psychotic tests and even weirder guys snapping their fingers angrily at viewers. All that's missing are the Oompa Loompas.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

White Is Tiiiiiiighhhht

Is anybody else having Olympic withdrawls? Well, to be fair, I may just be having Shaun White withdrawls. How awesome is he? And not just because of his hot red flo. So I YouTubed this old commercial (so old they reference MySpace! Archaic!) for today's feature presentation. I love these commercials anyway. I mean, hello! If the Flying Tomato, Jay-Z, and Fergie will all vouch for HPs then I'm sold! So I found the ad I was looking for and then! Imagine my delight to find a series of Shaun White commercials for Oakley! Epic! (that's me trying to sound like a snowboarder- they all said that during their Olympic interviews- I'm so hip and cool now thanks to them!)

And here is my favorite Oakley ad. For more golden White commercials check out YouTube- "Shaun White commercial".

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Not-So Shining Commercial

Is it not enough that every time a trailer for a horror film comes on I have to drop what I'm doing in the kitchen, sprint all the way around the counter shoving small children to the floor, hurdle the exersaucer, step on the dog, fling decorative pillows to the floor to uncover the remote, frantically push mute and then turn my back to the screen to avoid a night of restless sleep and paralyze-me-in fear dreams? Do I now also have to go through the same rigmarole for regular commercials?

Apparently I do, thank you very much Bing. And they aren't the first; Verizon pulled this crap a while back with their "Dead Zone" ad (featuring the "ok, I was outside and then I came in" Yoplait actress- ann-oy-ing!) There was another spoof on The Shining too, but I'm happy to say I don't know what it advertised because I was able to mute and turn quick enough every time it reared it's spooky head. I'm especially angry about Bing's ad because it has taken me since 6th grade to wash my brain of The Shining; I saw it at a friend's house before I had a spine and could refuse to watch. I viewed the entire movie through the hole of an afghan.

So, spoiler alert: don't watch this ad if you're a giant pansy-fanny like me.

Note: Hmmm... I just read the comments on YouTube for this commercial and nobody even mentions the creepy factor or injuries* suffered from trying to escape this ad. Seriously? Is nobody else as yellow as I?

*stubbed toes, scraped shins, bruised hipbones... not to mention the dog's tail

Monday, March 1, 2010

March-ing Into Easter

Luckily, I didn't give up chocolate for Lent this year as I have in years past, because this commercial would do me in. Is there anything more delectable than chocolate and peanut butter? Me thinks not! Besides that, anything associated with Marvin Gaye's, "Let's Get It On" is bound to be hilarious. Good work Reeses. I look forward to eating a lot of you this Easter season.

And while we're on the subject of delicious Springtime favorites, let's welcome the Cadbury bunny to this (almost) Easter season:

This gets me thinking, are there ever commercials for Peeps? I mean think of all the cute ads they could come up with by animating those squishy little darlings. Let's see some marshmallow commercials for Peeps sake!