Wednesday, June 30, 2010
*Did you get that? Or was it too much of a stretch? I was just gagging to use a colon punctuation in my title.
**Oh dear, that could act as a disgusting pun if that's where your head happens to go.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Msn.com clued me in to some important facts straightaway. It turns out the U.S. may have a sexy new Russian spy (any sexy male spies you'd like to send over Russia? to say... mid-Michigan?), some information on the magical world of houseboats, some 4th of July recipes (the traditional red, white, and blue layered jello was excluded from their list! What's up with that?!), and.... click! Click click click as fast as I can on this juicy headline! Jon Gosselin Unveils New Dragon Tattoo!?!? This is the type of golden article I hope to find every time I log on! Forget the Russian spies! This is news. The Gossinator! Gossaroonie! Gossie McGosserson! Some new ink for TLC's biggest Dink. I think he's such a little twerp, but it did remind me of this old yellowbook.com commercial so thank you for that Jon Bon Weenie.
I like this one too. I expected the wifey to hop on yellowbook.com and search for some kind of new job for her husband, but I love that instead she is hooking herself up with some moola in the case of his untimely destruction.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Baby your feet readers! Or turn them into bloody, disfigured nubs like Molly's are destined to be.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
We've been back in Michigan for two plus years now, but on occasion someone will ask me if I liked living in Florida. My canned answer is, "we're happy to be back, but ask me in February and you may get a different answer". Typically, in February, in Michigan, I've already crashed my car and am driving my husband's junk truck we only keep for when I wreck my car. It makes me crazy cranky, so Februarys are not a great month for me up here. The truth is though, I adore Michigan and would not care to live in Florida for an extended period of time. In large part because of the bugs. They are the size of my fist. The only time I was ever semi-happy to see one was when the Jehovah witness who was pushing through my door spotted the wolf spider before me and ran screaming down the driveway. I ran for a bucket, threw it over the spider (we're talking eight-legged St. Bernard beast here), called the exterminator (whose number I had handy from my last encounter with a mini-Iguana), and then my daddy**, naturally. So for my Floridian friends, and all Ad Bitters who have these unwelcome houseguests- this one's for you.
*Gadgie is a word I just made up; it's short for gadget. You likey? Thumbs up or down?
**This was a task I somehow missed in my Father's Day post. Daddies kill bugs for us and comfort us from states away when tarantula-esque bugs are in the house.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
1. Jordan van der Sloot. King of the toolbox, now king of his slimy, rodent-infested jail cell.
2. Lawrence Taylor. Ew. And $300? You're a cheapskate and again, ew.
3. James Joyce. I've forgiven you. I truly have. Just an itty bitty zap and I think you'll actually feel better for having paid a penance.
4. The folks who cancelled Veronica Mars. I'd like to punch you to the moon!
5. Chad Ochocinco. You annoy me and Ochocinco is a stupid thing to change your name to. ZAP!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I also appreciate their use of the word "mayhem" although I've only seen these commercials while watching Pretty Little Liars and I don't need a scary word like "mayhem" coming at me when I have enough horror on my plate. Have you seen PLL yet? I can't believe I've watched it twice now. It freaks my sh** OUT! A pansy like me has no business watching this show; I only watch it when Jim is home, but it seems to make no difference. Apparently my nightmares are out of his jurisdiction. If you're a brave one I highly recommend the show, it's quite compelling. If you're pansy by day and pansier by night, steer clear!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
In honor of the season, here is an awkward wedding moment we've all had:
Leave it to Oreo, America's favorite cookie, to provide the perfect "in honor of Dads everywhere" commercial. Happy Father's Day Dads!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
When I went away to college, I was a nervous wreck I wouldn't make any friends (if only I knew then it's practically impossible not to make friends when you're drunk with 500 of your peers). So, I stocked up on some icebreakers, and when I say icebreakers I mean super lame jokes and one magic trick (on second thought, it's a miracle I made it out with as many friends as I did) Anyway, my jokes were things like, "Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? .... Because he was dead!" Hohoho! Or, "Ask me if I'm a red ship. (Person does so- "Are you a red ship?) "Ummm, no." (Look at person like they are freakin' stooooopid!)
But back to the ad... let's break down this block of cheese's joke, shall we?
1. It's good, but a little cheesy.
2. You'd have to be a real square to like this joke (because Cheez-Its are square).
3. You can poke too many holes in this joke (another Cheez-It pun).
4. A little mild if you ask me. And un-American!
5. Pretty funny any way you slice it.
Am I missing some really obvious ones? I feel like I am. Anyway, this has made me good and hungry for some Cheez-Its now, but before signing off I should mention I loved their last slogan ("Get your own box!") but was it or was it not also the slogan for Corn Pops?!!? Mystery!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
*Did you know "whatever" was voted the most annoying word in the English language? Whatever that means.
Monday, June 14, 2010
An aside: Am I crazy, or does this girl look a bit like Christina Ricci?
I hope the company's "out of this world" commercials continue to "orbit" the airwaves Monday through "Sun"day and not just once in a "blue moon". Ugh, I could go on, but I feel totally blasphemous! I'd hate for the ghost of Jimmy Dean to haunt me with a permanent sausage odor in my home! I'm sorry Jimmy Dean! I vow to up my sausage intake- actually, do you make biscuits? Because I prefer biscuits.... I'll check into that. In the meantime, look at me promoting your product here!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Person A: "What are you drinking?"
Person B: "Yoohoo."
Person A: "Is it good? Hey do you know Florence Dittenfried?"
Person B: "Ya. Who?"
Person A: "Yahoo? I've heard that's a great search engine. Can I have a sip of your... what's it called?"
Person B: "Yoohoo"
Person A: "Oh ya." (takes a sip). "Yum. Chocolaty."
Though there is no deliciously, similarly named drink in this commercial, it's still a good one. It may even help out West's career, which is quickly going south.
They also touch on a PETA commercial I've never seen but never ever would have put on my blog anyway because dirt and turkey poop will not stop me from eating my Thansgiving turkey, thank you very much.
The Today Show evidently does not want people embedding their clips (I bet that is Matt Lauer's doing- I've always thought he was a bit of a toolbox) so I just have to give you the link: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/37589628#37589628
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
It's cause for celebration friends! Ad Bits has gone wireless! This will affect you not at all, but I knew you'd share in my joy. It does mean I can move up a notch or two on the Laze-o-meter and blog about my fave and least fave ads while sitting on my hiney right in front of the TV! Technology is a glorious thing!
I imagine you've been waiting on pins and needles for an Ad Bits entry, forgive my tardiness, but I think you'll forgive me now that you know the archaic conditions I've been working in. A desktop on an actual desk (or cardboard table as it were). Connected to the wall with (gasp!) wires and (ick!) cables! You know how I like to celebrate these little life victories? By eating. One of my favorite things to eat? Cereal. One of my favorite cereals? Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Their commercials are a little weird and cannibalistic though. This one below for instance. Cannibalism hasn't been so cool since Pippi Longstocking's dad* came to town.
*Cause he was a cannibal, remember? Or was it Hannibal...? Huh. Pippi rocked those braids though, right?