It's WEDDING SEASON!!! There is little I love more than a wedding, and I'm in full-on wedding mode as I have one to attend this Saturday. What does full-on wedding mode mean you ask? Well, first things first, I've conditioned myself so a substantial amount of alcohol can be consumed without getting cut off (that happened at ONE wedding ok? One. Apparently they thought I requested an inappropriate song, when really I would request it whether or not I was sloshy- anyone want to guess what the song was? You win a virtual high-five from me!). Also, dresses and shoes have been borrowed from friends and family so crossover wedding attendees (that is, guests who are at multiple weddings with me throughout the summer) won't see me in the same outfit twice. Address book has been consulted so names of kids, parents, and pets are fresh in my brain; similarly, politically correct tidbits have been prepared for awkward silences (pre-drunkeness of course). For example: "Anyone here Catholic? What's up with your priests molesting all those little boys?" Just kidding! An actual example might be, "Did you know the platypus is the only mammal that lays eggs? Also, the males are venomous."
In honor of the season, here is an awkward wedding moment we've all had: