Today I helped a cow give birth. I, who cannot stand to see somebody touch their own eyeball, helped pull a gooey, bloody, darling little bull out of its heifer mommy. It was unreal. Of course, when I say I helped, I mean I pulled for all of 8 seconds before stepping out of the way to let the real farmers do their job. But still. It really was gorgeous.
So, naturally I tried to find an appropriate cow commercial to commemorate my big day on Ad Bits. I did a YouTube search for "milk commercials" and this was my favorite. Even though it's sort of a cop out because it's for milk chocolate. I guess I could've tried to find an ad for bologna (get it? Bull-ogna!?!). Or for chocolate mooooousse. In any event, I think I showed great bravery today; no cowards here. I celebrated Baby Cow's birth by drinking an extra Diet Coke today. What can I say? I need my calffeine. I can see you're in obvious pain from my pathetic puns, but throw me a bone here- this happens like, never. I'd be crazy not to milk it.