Saturday, July 31, 2010

A Blog Hop

This is my first blog hop ever!  I feel so hip and cool- look at me trying to act like I know what I'm doing!  But truly, I've already found some supercute blogs through the hop.  I've been clicking "Follow" like it's going out of style.  I'm turning into quite the blog sl*t!


I spotlighted Kiss My Book.  She's got good book reviews and suggests books I probably wouldn't pick up otherwise.  If you want to see the complete list of blogs participating in the hop, check out Between the Lines, Survey Junkie, or Kindred Spirit Mommy.  They're sponsoring this hopping soiree.

And just for the fun of it, here's another great Target short:

Friday, July 30, 2010

Sock It To Me

Skittles has the weirdest commercials.  Their marketing team must smoke some fancy stuff, but I think it actually pays off! The commercials somehow gracefully straddle the funny fence; one side is disturbing (no college for tree boy!) and the other side is even more disturbing (the finger-esque beard man).  See 4/1/10 post to view both bizarre ads (  Skittles latest commercial isn't as gross as it is oddly hilarious.  Also, please don't be surprised when I show up to your Halloween party this year dressed as a tube sock.  Tubular costume dude!  Sorry, I'll put a sock in it.  Please, I know my lame puns can't possibly shock you anymore.  Frankly, I think they're [electro]cute!

Here's another weird one for ya.  You know who would love these commercials?  Roald Dahl.  Am I right?  I bet The Twits loved Skittles.

A side note about Skittles: I have purchased Skittles at almost every ice arena in the Midwest.  It was a must-have during my brother's hockey games.  But it wasn't always Skittles.  When he first began playing hockey it was the Charleston Chews.  Ohmy.  I suddenly have a pregnancy-like craving for a CC.  Do they still make those?!  Please advise!!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Out D*mn Spot!

I have a pretty intimate relationship with Stanley Steemer.  They alone are familiar with the horrors that have been in my carpet.  And when I say horrors I mean um... body waste.  My dog has had one or two accidents during thunderstorms (normally we sedate her when a storm is coming, but every now and then the storm hits before her meds do); we watched my parents' dog for a while too who has some anxiety issues of his own.  I can empathize because I certainly have anxiety attacks around here and I flippin' live here.  Anyway, Stanley had to come out a few times during the dog's stay, God love 'em.  Then there's the obvious potty-training things that went on; most recently I forgot to put a diaper on* Adrienne (who does that?!) and she twosied all over the living room, mashing the ickiness in with as much vengeance as a one year old can muster.  Naturally, I'll be enlisting Stanley Steemer's services to work on Molly's nail polish escapade from a few weeks ago (you remember, right? Maybe not if you don't have bright red spots serving as harsh reminders).  So, I am an S.S. fan already- but throw an alpaca commercial into the mix and they become true rockstars. 

*Here's the kicker- this is not the first time I've forgotten to diaper a kid- a couple years ago Molly wet all over me at church before I realized she was going commando

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Chip On My Shoulder

Book club tonight!  We read Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah.  I liked the bulk of it, but I think many did not.  I guess that would put me "all by myself".

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Happy Bloggiversary!

Weee!  It's Ad Bits' one year bloggiversary! As you can see, we're sporting a snazzy new look for our 2nd blogging year.  Of course, there's still some tweaking that needs to be done because I don't know HTML codes from a hole in the wall.  Let's take a look at some milestones A.B. has hit in the past year:
1. I learned to embed YouTube videos!  Huge victory!
2. That awful Jillian Barberie NutriSystem commercial is off the air!  Yeah!
3. But so is the talking pig commercial.  Boo.
4. I got a new computer and went wireless!  Fancy, fancy!
5. I went from zero followers to eight!  That's right, count' em up!  Eight fabulous followers.  One of them is me, true, so ok- 7.  Lucky number 7.

I wanted to do something unique for our bloggiversary (and I promise, this is unique- you will not be suffering through a year of weird vlogs) so I decided to make a commercial for Ad Bits, complete with a talking animal. Turns out commercial making is hard! I may need to go a bit easier on ads in the future. Here it is starring Molly's hand as Bits the Commercial Bull:

Monday, July 26, 2010

My Good Luck Charms!

Bitters!  Good news!  I found that blessed green form!  I started cleaning (I guess it really can serve a purpose!) and there it was beneath a VBS art project, summer reading info from the library, and some birthday cards from Adi's party.  Weee!  Unfortunately for you guys, I'm juuuuust superstitious enough that every time I lose something now I'm going to have to blog about it.  Look for new blog title: Lost Bits.

Here I am with the infamous green form.  This is also what I look like when I'm procrastinating weed pulling.

Et tu, Staples?

Is everyone out to get me?!  What have I ever done to you Staples, but used your fax and copy machines?  Purchased a 500 count pack of yellow paper when really I only needed like 10 sheets?  Bought your overpriced (but the perfect size for Adi's first birthday party invitations) envelopes?  And what thanks do I get?  This commercial:

My readers are good, responsible parents so this ad probably doesn't upset you guys at all.  And those of you who know me may want to stop reading here because I'm going to freak out about The Green Form yet again. 
It's just that Molly is going to preschool in September so they sent us some forms, including a green form for the doctor to fill out.  So when she went for her physical I patted myself on the back the entire day for remembering to take it with us for completion.  I got too cocky though, and now the green form is MIA.  I've torn my car and house apart looking for the little green b**tard to no avail.  My current strategy is to live in denial until August 8th (form is due on the 9th).  And here comes flippin' Staples with a commercial like this, hitting a little too close to home with their school supply list.  Ugh.  The swagger wagon parents would never let this happen.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Rudy and Crudey

Why is this commercial funny to me? Who doesn't cry watching Rudy?  I'm willing to bet the Dos Equis guy cries, David Hasselhoff cries, Neil Patrick Harris cries, I bet even Kim Jong Il grabs a tissue or two.  It's the male equivalent of like- Beaches (? It was the first tearjerker that came to mind).  But more inspirational and less... death and depression.  And of course without Bette's bawdy "Titsling" diddy.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Fashion Friday

Looking for some ensemble inspiration for the weekend?  Allow Ad Bits:

Thursday, July 22, 2010

When Life Hands You Lemons...

Ok, Ok.  I think I know where I went wrong with this commercial.  The key is to drink a fifth of the product and then watch the ad.  I saw it last night during Tosh.O, which was fitting because Tosh and the commercial are both sooo out there.  I was totally lost when I saw it on TV, but was (barely) able to pick up on the product so I could YouTube it today:   After watching it a couple more times I still just. don't. get it.  But it's different and lemony and apparently effective since I remember the product and the ad so... I guess that makes it an Absolut Success!  The only question remains- where can I get that kick-fanny yellow leotard.  Uma Thurman?  Any ideas?

Note: Sorry, the embedding absolutly wouldn't work for me.  I wanted to [lemon] drop-kick YouTube out the window.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Monster Ball

Last night I caught part of a rerun of The Office. Here's the clip:

I don't know where did come up with their name (like, unemployment is a monster, maybe? Or the creators are disfigured?) but I think it's brilliant. Their commercials are few and far between it seems, but when one does come out it's good. I love this one in particular because it makes the point that even people with big thighs (me! over here!) can find the perfect job. Of course, I use my big trunks for kicking toys out of the way and dragging children who are begging for jellybeans at 6am around on the floor.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

e-Trading In The Good Life

There are some celebrities I feel bad for: Mary Kate and Ashley Olson I believe try to stay out of the limelight and just live their lives (and if their lives don't include food that's their business!); Jessica Simpson gets picked on a lot, but a)I'm not sure she realizes it and b)she seems like a decent girl- last I checked ditzy wasn't a crime. I even feel bad for Brittney Spears- she's too pitiful to pick on. Then there's Lindsay Lohan who challenges my empathy on a daily basis and yet, I feel none. I just sort of feel like.... that's what you get for dying your perfectly nice red hair*.

So it's not breaking my heart that she's off to jail today. In fact, it gave me blog material so I'm even taking some delight in it. If you aren't on board with her being a twerp yet, let me remind you of this e-Trade commercial that prompted her to sue for $100 mill.

It's too absurd for me to comment on further. Wait no, I guess not.
1. Lindsay is not a particularly unique name. Had they used LiLo, I'd at least understand where she's coming from.
2. Being a milkaholic is a good thing! They go nicely with chocaholics.
3. Baby Lindsay doesn't even look like baby LiLo. e-Trade baby had meat on her bones, brownish hair, and was cute. They are both babies, but LiLo didn't play that angle in court.
4. $100 million??? Stick to your day job Linz. Which, I guess is making license plates now.

*This is a joke. Sort of.

A Moving Target

Isn't this just the flippin' truth?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Your Ad HERE!

Home Sweet Home! I'm happy to report I made it in and out of Chicago in one piece. My home (and my babies!) were also in one piece when I arrived, which tells me Jim can handle things and I'm free to put him in charge more often! Of course, I missed the girlies terribly though and it turns out I just can't hang like I used to. Two nights in a row of stumbling home in heels at 4am just about did me in. When I went for my run this morning I'm pretty sure I was sweating Red Bull and vodka. Blech. Here we are staying on the bridge as long as possible because there was the most heavenly breeze up there.

The drive there and back wasn't even bad, plus I had billboards (I guess you could say I wasn't billBORED!) to look at. One read, "YOUR WIFE IS HOT! Call Smoky's Air Conditioning today!" Another argued, "Education too expensive? Try ignorance!" Below was an itty bitty logo, that I couldn't see, but it must have been an academic institution. Or good ole U of Oblivious took it literally and adopted it as their manifesto. My favorite was an ad for a law firm; the images were of a woman's hot legs and a man's bare chest. It made the argument that, "Life is short. Get a divorce." A law firm with a sense of humor? Whodathunkit?

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Bull-ogna In Chicago

Weeeee! Ad Bits is now a multi-state blog! I write this entry from my sister's darling little apartment in The Windy City. Actually, it was 99 degrees in the shade yesterday as she and I and our sis-in-law to be moved two enormous couches up the winding staircase and into her flat. A little breeze would have been much appreciated.

We're having a ton of fun; me, pretending to be young and hip and collegey again, and my sisters, pretending I'm not totally humiliating them with my wine induced antics. Whatevs. There's a good chance I'll never get an invite again, so I'm making the most of my weekend sans kids*. I YouTubed Chicago commercials and this one won solely because of the pun. No bull.

*Nobody is buying my collegey act in large part because I lead with, "I'm married and I have two of the cutest little girls you ever did see. Wanna see pictures?" The only one who was willing and enthusiastic about my girlies' pics was my new BFF: the lotion, soap, paper towel hander outer in the bathroom at one of our stops. God love 'er.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Let's Be Honest, Abe.

Can you imagine if we purchased things solely on the popularity of their commercials? I'm seeing a bunch of Geico insured, Toyota swagger wagon driving, Bud Light drinking, Snickers and Cheeto eating, deliriously happy people roaming around. Does Geico have health insurance? Because with the inevitable drunk-driving accidents happening and junk food induced obesity on the rise, they'd be wise to expand their package offering. Luckily, there are consumers who are smart enough to buy stuff using criteria besides how cute or funny an ad is. I'm not one of them, naturally, but my husband is and that is why my life isn't a hot mess.

Geico does it again with this ad (their marketing budget must rival Willie Nelson's pot budget), which is one of my favorites ever!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Just Rank It

Paste Magazine ranked their top 11 favorite Nike commercials. Nike does have good ads; some are funny (lovie love love the Bono pun in #11) and inspiring (if #6 doesn't make you want to train for something, I don't know what will). Of course, I also love Paste's little dig on Tiger Woods (#2) too.

Underwear Etiquette

The other day Jim's boss came for dinner. So we were trying to at least kinda sorta resemble a civilized, well-mannered family unit. Molly had strict instructions to be on her best behavior. Which she actually (surprisingly!) was. Discounting one slip-up. Just as BossMan was commenting that my girls had good table manners, I was saying, "Molly please sit on your chair" and in the milli-second that followed Molly explains, I can't sit down! I keep getting wedgies! And she stands to dramatically yank those panties right out of her behind. Ah. Well. That was the biggest mishap of the evening, which makes it a wild success in my book. And admit it. Wedgies are maddening. So would having the problem mentioned in the commercial below. So for bottoms everywhere, and as a nod to the Tour de France (which I have followed not at all) here is today's ad:

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Make 'Em Extra Sloppy

A little talking sammy? Cute! I hope someday my girls have to (or get to) dress up in some ridiculously adorable costume for a play. My uncle loves to tell the story of how he was humbled in grade school when the teacher cast him as Uranus in a solar system re-creation. He should send an audition tape to Jimmy Dean- it's only a matter of time before they play that heavenly body card. In any event, I think our sloppy joe star is much better off. And in your face corn! You seasonal starch, you!

Here's a throwback Manwich commercial because I think the little girl is a button. The jingle will be in your head all day so I apologize for that. But you're welcome for the dinner idea.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A George-ous Day

I missed Pretty Little Liars tonight and all the commercials that go with it! Not that I'm complaining- my lovely summer day was spent by the pool with good company, scrumdiddlyumptious food*, and a raccoon named George Cooney. Life is good. I'll catch PLL next week.

Note: This is not the actual raccoon we caught in our live trap; our George C. was much smaller, but equally cute. Don't worry- he's perfectly safe. Just in a habitat further from our house.

*OMG. I'm visiting my mom who is a far better cook than I will ever be. She made my favorite- manicotti, with amazing veggie salad, fruit salad, focaccia bread. Brownies for dessert. I'm never eating again until the next time I'm hungry. And I mean that.

Dating and Skiing In Zoos

This is a humorous and refreshing take on your run of the mill online dating ad. Here is an industry that has great potential for funny commercials! Do you hear me eHarmony? Take a page out of Zoosk's book and make some fun. But Zoosk. You are far from perfect, you weird little company. Zoosk already has a too-odd-to-market name (I suspect it might also pop up if you Google "zoos in Saskatchewan" or "zoos that sell Skittles"). Additionally, their logo is cutesy to the cutesy degree. Lime green, white, and a poofy, red heart that mwahh! kisses the inexplicable, funky-fonted "Zoosk". It's so Lisa Frank it's almost painful.
The logo may be Jr. High-ish, but the content is significantly more adult. I love our heroine's last line: "Maybe just a movie date would be nice". As opposed to the get. it. on. date she was originally looking for? I hope she finds true love, or at the very least a nice rhino or giraffe to go skating with.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Here's To 7 More Years

It's my anniversary! Well, our anniversary I guess. Jim and I have been married 7 whole years. We celebrated by eating too much food and then going to our friends' for a bonfire, where we defied our guts' protests by eating and drinking even more. Nothing says "I love you" like S'mores and wine, right? It was fab.
All this anniversariness got me thinking about what commercial couples most exemplify my own marriage. Here's what I came up with:

Jim and I are all about teamwork and keeping each other fired up:

We also think we're pretty badfanny:

Lucky for him, Jim is not one to check out the ladies (blatantly at least). But we do keep each other in line:

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Sunday Mini-Blog

As if the $1 bargain bins at the front of the store aren't enough reason to love Target. Their short commercials are cute, persuasive (I do need to pick up some TP!), and perfect for a weekend mini-blog.

Friday, July 9, 2010


Normally I try to steer clear of spoofs on commercials because I could get totally wrapped up in them and lose sight of what's really important... honest to goodness, buy our stuff, treat consumers like suckas, giggle (or hurl) inducing commercials. But Jane Lynch. I can't resist Insane Jane. Here's her spoof and then a clip just for the fun of it.

Wait- What Was I Saying?

Have you read Still Alice yet? A great book, but my level of paranoia has reached new heights after reading it. Suddenly I'm keenly aware of exactly how much I forget. The other day for instance, Molly was wearing a cute little sundress to Tot Watch. As I was helping her out of her car seat I got a flash of bare bottom. Underpants! We forgot underpants! The next day I turned around halfway to the Y because I forgot to take my water to spinning; when we got there I remembered class was cancelled. Today I couldn't remember the commercial I wanted to blog about, but I knew it was a Taco Bell ad. Ok Jules, just do a YouTube search for all Taco Bell commercials. Problem solved, and! Happy accident! I found this nugget. First off, I didn't know they actually had Taco Bell in Mexico. That seems so so wrong, but makes me feel infinitely better about my claim to love authentic Mexican food. I also empathize with the groom because I see mirages on a regular basis of men in uniform offering me Taco Bell. Of course in my case, it's always the chilito. And never a priest.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sappy or Sassy?

I'm a textbook Libra. So making decisions is painfully hard for me. I'm conflicted on a daily basis. Heels or flats? Curly hair or straight? Pretend alligators on the kitchen floor or quicksand? I'm feeling particularly indecisive today so I'm giving you your choice of a clutch your heart and swallow the huge lump in your throat commercial, or a new Kia commercial* in which the hamsters (or gerbils?) really break it down this time. And they're wearing hoodies!

*"This or That" hamsters? Really? I was just saying how much I hate making decisions. Kia's target market must not include Libras. Also, why a toaster? It gives toasted ham and cheese a whole new meaning.

This next one made me cry. Don't say I didn't warn you. But it's darling. And it makes me want an iphone even more than before. Maybe I should have put the tearjerker first? And finished with a pick-me-up? Augh! Will these impossible decisions never stop!?!

Waffle House

Great idea Hampton! It's waffles for dinner tonight at my house!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Stain, Stain, Go Away

We are having a painfully hot heat wave right now. It's hotter than two weasels wrestling in a wool sock. Luckily, we have wonderful friends who kindly invited us to swim in their pool yesterday. Molly splished and splashed and wore herself right out. So when she went to bed without argument and didn't get up or yell for me a bajillion times, I wasn't surprised. "The fresh air and swimming did her in!" I thought happily (and, as it turns out, stupidly). Around 10:30 she peeked her head downstairs and whispered my name. That's when I noticed her bright red fingers. Yup. My little angel painted her fingers, toes, and oh yeah, entire bed frame with love 'em and leave 'em red nail polish. The carpet, naturally, did not go unscathed and I spent a good portion of today trying to get it out. That odor you smell right now? That's the acetone I will reek of for the rest of my days.
Today's feature ad had to be stain themed and YouTube pulled this one up for me. I love the disTain with which the interviewer looks at the guy. I hope he isn't (s)tainting his reputation. If he gets the job he should celebrate by painting the town red. And he should take Mols with him.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

A Tuesday Short

I love having two little girls. But this commercial makes me want a little boy SO BAD! The one on the left to be specific. Two words for you: But ton.


While this ad makes my mouth water, I have no choice but to give it a thumbs down. Starting with the Oompa-Loompa. Why would they pick the creepiest part of the Chocolate Factory for this short little commercial? Why not go whole hog and take us on the trippy boat ride, freak us out with some nutty squirrels, or reference a stretching machine or human juicer while you're at it WW? Really though, Oompa-Loompas scare the pants off me.
That alone would not warrant a thumbs down, but then they rob me of what I thought was my very own ridiculous word. I use "scrumdiddlyumptious" more than once a day and they just stole it out from under me! Do other people say that word? Am I a poser? My little Vocabularyville has been rocked to the core. Boo to you Willy Wonka. You can make it up to me only by supplying me with a lifetime of Option 3 with the toffee, thank you.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Orange You Glad It's Choco-Salt?

Orange is finally getting his big break! Of course he doesn't seem thrilled as it means getting a pretzel stuffed up his.... nose? Into his mouth? I can't imagine where else they would stick the salty little nugget. I understand his reluctance. His love life could go either way now. The voluptuous and tres elusive Green will either be way turned off by his... um... procedure, or she'll find his new found fame and flava super tasty. What about that Green anyway? She's like Smurfette- just a little smokeshow surrounded by fictional male animations. Lucky girls... can you imagine? They probably went to UTI of Illinois* too.

A plug: Have you tried these things yet? They're lethal. Look out Flipz.

*I read somewhere UTI had the highest male/female ratio of any college. Makes sense... what girl would want to attend a college named for a painful peeing problem?

Friday, July 2, 2010

Happy Independence Day!

My (internet-free) Fourth of July weekend is about to start! Everyone have a lovely holiday filled with food, flags, fireworks, sparklers, parades, bonfires... celebrate your independence safely and funly! A couple celebratory clips for the holiday:

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Simply Gooalicious

Feelings on this ad could go either way. Do you love the blurpy sound effect (reminiscent of the fun drink technology that was the Burple*) and cherish the thought of going for a dip in super sticky, tastily scandalous caramel? Or does the squish noise evoke memories of 4th grade armpit f**ts, while the pool of caramel reminds you of a Caramello that went through the dryer, giving your favorite clothes a certain stickiness forever?

Personally, I was pleasantly disgusted by the commercial. Like when my kids are sick and they produce a tissue full of ick. I'm disgusted, of course, but simultaneously happy for the kiddo to be clearing things out. Now that you're good and repulsed, here's the ad. Which will seem like puppy dogs and rainbows compared to the picture I just painted for you.

*Wikipedia definition of Burple: Burple is a discontinued drink mix that was packaged in an expandable accordion-like plastic container. There were two sizes of Burple available, a lunchbox-size and a full-size container. To prepare the drink, the container was stretched to expand it to its full size and water was added to the concentrated liquid in the bottle. The drink was often compared to Kool-Aid and came in the flavors grape, strawberry, cherry, and orange. The label included instructions for poking a hole in the cap to convert the container into an ad hoc squirt gun after finishing the drink.

Something Fishy

It has been too long since I've seen a good talking animal commercial. Waaaaaay too long. No wonder my spirit has been feeling a little wounded, a little saggy if you will. Luckily, my parents are visiting and had the TV on to a station I don't normally watch. This opened up a whole slew of wonderful new commercials, not the least of which was the fabulous Lipton ad featuring a chorus of sealife.

To celebrate my wonderfully kooky commercial find, I brewed up a cup of Lipton green tea this morning. Adrienne begged (that is, she pointed and whined) for a sip so I, thinking I was calling her bluff, gave her a sip. My one year old proceeded to chug my entire cup of green tea. Is that weird? It took me years to just kinda sorta like the earthy taste of green tea, and she slammed the whole thing on her first go 'round! This makes me nervous. Will she also have an abnormal taste for tequila? Ashtrays? X-brand vodka? Or, gasp! Clamato juice*?!?! Speaking of clams, here's the ad:

And a seagull sequel:

*Wikipedia definition: Clamato "(a portomanteau of "clam" and "tomato") is a trademark of the Mott's company which denotes a drink made primarily of reconstituted tomato juice concentrate. It is flavored with spices and clam broth, and contains monosodium glutamate. It is also referred to colloquially as "clamato juice".