Friday, October 22, 2010

Things I Hide From My Husband

I never take naps!  Unless I'm pregnant (and I'm not!) I try to sneak one in say... once a month.  But if I want Jim to come home earlier than expected, all I have to do is park M in front of the TV and lay down for a snooze.  Like yesterday for instance.  Then it's all:
Jim: "Hi girls!  I'm home!"
Me: (shooting up out of my luxury slumber) "I never nap!  I don't!"
Jim: "I know."
Me: "This is such a weird, fluke thing!  And M does not actually watch TV all day!"
Jim: "Yeah, I know."
Me: "Honestly, I had a little headache so I laid down for like, 20 minutes!"
Jim: "Jule!  I know!  You never nap!  M isn't in front of the TV all day! I know this!"
Me:  "Now I sound all defensive when really I wasn't doing anything wrong!  Do you want to know what I did today? (Jim is leaving the room now and I'm yelling up the stairs) I caught up on laundry, went to the Y, took the girls to the library, we played ball outside, made a menu for next week, cleaned the office, got my lesson ready for Sunday school... I've been PRODUCTIVE!"

There are other things I hide from Jim besides my monthly nap.  For instance, I've been known to slam my computer shut when I hear him coming so he doesn't know the depth of my Facebook addiction.  And I'm always hiding food related things from him.  Many times I want a food item (like chocolate covered pretzels) all to myself so I'll hide them in the filing cabinet in my office (under D for Delicious!).  Or, if a package of Oreos was full when he left, I'll be sure the empty package is replaced by the time he gets home. (Jim: "Noone opened the Oreos?"  Me: "Oh gosh, I forgot we even had them!")

I don't hide most purchases from him.  Quite the opposite actually, I love showing off my amazing finds ("Look how thrifty I am!  Matching bandanas for the girls AND dog for $3!").  With the exception of Girl Scout cookies.  If I never tell him about the cookie purchase he'll never wonder why he never ever sees a box cross our home's threshhold and I never ever have to explain how I could possibly finish off an entire box of Jubilees while driving home.

Do you hide anything from your husbands?  I promise not to tell them!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love your blog and the way you write! - Carla

Sandra - the German said...

LOL one of the best entries! Really! You didn´t change with your humor and this is just perfect. Reading your dialog I have both your faces in my mind and then you walking after Jim and trying to turn the situation around. LOL
Well as you know there is no husband around here, I cannot answer your question - sorry.
I think I have to re-read it again.... :o)))

Rachel said...

If I drop food on the floor (but it's still good, there's a 30 second rule!) I don't tell my husband he's a germ freak and think of all the food that would be wasted if I told him!

Jules said...

C and S: You guys are so kind! Glad you liked it!

Rachel: Ha! Good one! What he doesn't know won't make him sick!

Nikki Cupcake said...

i hide snack food because if i don't i never get any!

Melanie said...

Hahaha.. that sounds just like me...
Thanks for the visit at 2 Boys + 1 Girl = One Crazy Mom

Melanie
www.twoboysonegirlandacrazymom.com

Marcia said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Great blog! Thanks for following A Grace-full Life!

Crystal said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog. Glad you enjoyed the Rolo pudding recipe. It was soooooo good.
Just checkin out your list of books. As the weather gets colder I start stocking up on reading material.
Thanks for the book suggestions

Crafty Craftee Craft:>D WAHM said...

LOL! Toooo funny!!!

Nicki Woo said...

Jules, you are soooo crazy!!!! And your hubby sound like such a sweetums! Cracking me up every day. This is definitely on the Adbits Top 10!