WWW Wednesday

Whine:  Am I fourteen freaking years old again!?  My face seems to think so!  Just in time for holiday pictures my skin is breaking out!  Never mind that I'm in my 30s now!  Pore pore me.  Is zit just me or does anybody else have this problem?  Pimplease say I'm not the only one.  I can hardly face myself in the mirror. It's making me skinsane.

Wish: I wish my fabulous readers would check out this new blog!  My dear, dear friend just started a blog about the dairy farm she and her husband bought after years of working in corporate America.  Yes, this is the very dairy farm where I had this experience and this one too!  She is a lovely writer with lots of interesting things to say.   And do you love the name of this blog or what?!  Truth or Dairy.  Cute!  Check it out!

Woo-hoo!  It's my 300th post! That means I've blogged once every 1.68 days since July 27, 2009.  This milestone sort of snuck up on me, so i didn't have time to plan anything special.  I guess we'll have to make do with an impromptu poem:

Ad Bits Hits 300

Woo hoo!  It's my 300th post!

Here's some e-champagne- let's toast!

To commercials: the funny and rotten

And my rockstar readers!

May you never be forgotten!

You stick by me through every dumb pun

When I know there are days you want to run

Away from jokes that are cheesy at best

I put your sense of humor to the test!

Every Wednesday I wish and whine

You put up with my every semi-rhyme.

You are the coolest readers in the sphere

Putting up with my poor punctuation makes that clear!

I love to bring you commercials and chuckles galore-

here's to a silly and fun 300 more!

If you've been reading Ad Bits for a while, there's no doubt you're wildly sick of this totally inappropriate (read: get your kids out of the room) commercial, but it's still my fave, so it's getting another go 'round!

Snow Way I'm Going Out In This!

I like my house.  It's my favorite house Jim and I have ever lived in.  I know how very blessed I am to have a cozy little home when some people do not.  But ya know what?  This still does not mean I want to be in my beloved house all day long.  Which is what the sadistic radio announcers and anchorpeople want us to do because the roads are "treacherous".  So, we've been snowed in.

Yesterday, mercifully, my girlfriend who lives a hop, skip, and a snowbank away invited us over.  I bundled up the girlies, made sure their car seat belts were snug, and double checked that I was wearing pretty underwear juuuuust in case a (handsome?) doctor had to cut them off my unconscious body.  As you know, I don't drive faster than 25 mph in the winter so of course we made it there safe and sound- underwear fully in tact.  Once the girls had thoroughly trashed her house it was back home.  For the rest of the day. 

This is what I'm getting at, my bloggy friends: what do you do with your kiddos when you're trapped in your house?  How do you keep a shred of sanity?  This is surely just the first of many icy days in Michigan this winter so I need your help! 

In return, I give you this funny commercial complete with Christmasy soundtrack:

And The Winner Is...

My apologies!  I'm sure you've been on pins and needles all weekend to find out who won the Friday night beer tasting contest.  Well.  I"m thrilled to announce.... WE DID!!!  In a shocking twist (to me- I didn't think we'd actually win!)  Team J took the gold with the crowd pleasing Bee Sting from Waldorff Brewery in little Hastings, Michigan!  Here we are- the big weiners.  Er... winners:

That's us with the winning brew and the Pinot Grigio trophy.  It may look like I'm more excited than Jim, but trust me when I say he celebrated as though he were King of Beers.

Speaking of celebrating, I am in looooove with this video right now.  Promise me you'll watch until the end ok?  And I promise to have an actual commercial for you again tomorrow.  But I'm still riding my championship high and thinking rules no longer apply to me.  So commercials be damned!  Today we're just watching a random, hilarious video! 

Beer Bash Friday

First Christmas party of the season tonight!  Hip hip hooray!  The girlies are staying at their Grandpa's (he has chickens, which seems to be the equivalent of Disneyland in Molly's eyes- she adores them).  The party is also a highly competitive beer tasting battle.  Each person brings a (disguised) six pack and each beer is ranked by each person.  The person who brings the highest ranking beer wins.  I want that to be me.

Just because it's the season of giving and there's all that holiday cheer and whatnot floating around does not negate my animalistic desire to crush my tipsy competition.  The problem is I prefer my drunkeness relaxation to come in the way of wine; I don't know the first thing about beer.  Bad little Irish girl, I know.  But I did some research and settled on a beer called Bistro Blonde from a semi-local brewery.  Let me just say here if there was a Bistro Redhead there wouldn't even BE a competition yo.

So wish me luck.  Whether I win or lose you'll probably be hearing about it for the entire next year.  But first, let's enjoy some Friday beer puns:  I just can't beer to lose. A beer in the hand is worth two in the Busch.  I don't know what I get if I win- I hope it's a Blue Ribbon.  I'm going to nip my sobriety in the Bud.  Sometimes when I have too many drinks trouble starts brewing.  A bajillion Ad Bits dollars to whomever comes up with a good keg pun.  I'm tapped out.

WWW Wednesday

Whine:  I hate to be a Michigander who whines about the cold.  So I won't.  But if I were that kind of girl I would totally whine about how very very blessed cold it is today.  Instead, I am going to whine about Chex Mix.  The ratio of dark crunchy circle things to the other ingredients is WAY off.  Chex Mix has become increasing stingy with the dark crunchy circle things and I've about had it.  If I can insert a quick woo-hoo here though I will: it's about that time when my aunt makes her homemade snack mix which is unlike any other mixed snack I've ever had.  So I won't have to put up with prepackaged Chex Mix and their absurd lack of dark crunchy circle things.

Wish:  I wish the full container of baby powder Molly dumped (strategically?) in every single room of the house would please vacuum itself up.  Every time I think I've got it all cleaned, I'll pull back the covers on her bed (for instance) and find another mound of powder.  Since it's just baby powder and not crack*, I'm not that mad- it's really just an inconvenience.

Woo-hoo!  Mols hosted a little Christmas party this morning with some girlies from school!  They are terribly terribly cute and had funny conversations including one about what store we bought our house from (no, not Menards) and which Care Bear is the best (I didn't know Care Bears were still hip actually.  Even more surprising, Bedtime Bear was a wild card favorite).

I was so excited the first time I saw this commercial.  I was less excited when I learned it wasn't a commercial for diapers, sunscreen, or a chest hair comb, but whatevs.  It's still funny.  Also, my new catch phrase when I do anything kinda, sorta, maybe cool (like flip the remote into the air and catch it.... left handed) is: "Some people are just born awesome".  Dig it.



*I just had to Google "is crack the same thing as cocaine?" to make sure crack is a powder.  Wikipedia assures me they are one and the same.

Bringing Home the Bacon... er... Tree

 I was sort of down in the dumps this past weekend.  Two things were able to cheer me up.  First, we got our Christmas tree!  Here we are with it:

The other thing that kept the weekend from being a total bust?  This commercial.  (Pathetic, I know.  But really- I was grasping, and Logitech tossed me this Bacon flavored straw):

Hilarious, right?!  My absolute favorite part is his finger crossing at the end.  To tell the truth, I wasn't even 100% sure this was Kev so I had to do some Googling.  It is!  It's him!  Turning an otherwise decent commercial into a cesspool of hilarity. In my Google research I also found this link: http://www.thekevinbacongame.com/ in which you can play the six degrees of separation game with any two actors.  What a fun activity to kill the time between wrapping presents, decorating the house, baking gingerbread men, caroling, shoveling, and addressing Christmas cards!

Also, as a Tuesday treat, it is my honor to provide you with a bit more classic Bacon:

Time To Potty!

Readers, I think today is the day.  Or maybe it's tomorrow. 

I'm pretty sure it's sometime this week at least.

The little potty is coming out of retirement.  Think how it will complete my holiday decor.  It seems like only two years ago (because it was only two years ago) the little potty sat boldly under the Christmas tree- a challenge gift from Santa to Molly.  Now, I think the time has come for Adi to become acquainted with Madame Potte.  The time for me to start putting her dolls on it and squeezing wet paper towels behind them while cheering and praising loudly.  The time to stock up on fruit snacks and licorice, but not M&Ms, which actually do melt in the tiny hands of a proud potty-user.  The time to double check my portion of carpet cleaner, paper towels, and patience.

Are you potty training your kids now?  Do you remember going through this at one time?  Googling "how to potty train" and later, "potty training- what in God's name am I doing wrong?"

Of course I'm starting a bit early- A is 18 months tomorrow.  But she actually used the potty once last month (a friend put her on and she just... went!)  Plus I think she needs a challenge right now.  In addition to you know- learning to talk.  And with the holidays upon us, things are already chaotic and a bit stressful.  Why not throw another log on the fire?

So wish me luck readers.  My little star is destined to tinkle.