Thursday, October 29, 2009

Can I Get A Witness?
Bud Light does it again! I could have titled this blog BudBits and commented strictly on Anheuser-Busch commercials for all the material they provide! I love this one in large part because of the perfectly pathetic closing line: "I'll Facebook you"! Because isn't that the God's honest truth? Raise your hand if you've reluctantly confirmed an ex on Facebook, nervously giving him the opportunity to squirm back into your life (albeit your virtual life) after all the hard work of finally breaking up with him!

Now, if Bud Light were to do a "too light/too heavy" commercial about my life it would go something like this:
I'm relaxing at home; not looking particularly cute, perhaps indulging in a box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts and watching something along the lines of the Ellen DeGeneres show. There's a knock at the door. Surprised, I answer. A Jehovah's Witness ambushes me with her spiel, and all the while I'm thinking, "must.... find.... my balls". But I don't, and despite my meek (too light!!!!) protests, I'm sucked into a 2 hour long bible study with this stranger. Before I know what hit me, I'm going to hell.
Next time I'll be prepared! Next time I'm opting for "too heavy"! There will be an emphatic, "Not interested! Not even a little bit"! There will be holy water splashed in her face! There will be a firm closing of the door. There may be a rolling of the Watchtower and a swat on her derriere as she high tails it off my porch!!! And then I'll celebrate with a refreshing (inspiring!) Bud Light.

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