1-800 I'm Beautiful

Of all the 1-800 Contacts commercials, this one is my fave. It's funny in it's own right, but it also reminds me of my little Molly, who (God love her) is very... um, confident. For instance, after soccer practice I asked if she had fun, to which she replied, "Yeah. I'm telling everyone I'm beautiful." Another day my friend was pointing out an airplane to Molly and her boys, "Molly, do you see the airplane?" Molly says happily, "Yes! I see it with my pretty eyes!" What can I say? I'm happy to be raising a girl with self-esteem to spare.

A Pop Right In The Kisser!

Gene Simmons, you are so creepy with your long-ass cow tongue! Also, you are not a doctor! The other ads in this series feature actual doctors! Dr. J for instance. Oo! They should hire Doogie Howser- he's a kind of doctor. Plus, we know he wears deodorant* so he'd be pleasant smelling to work with. Anyway, I will overlook the hiring of Gene Simmons and his limb-like tongue because:

a. I think he's actually a good guy. That's what I hear from my network of Kiss roadies at least.
b. I lovey love love Dr. Pepper. I overdid it in college (I'm sure it was the soda and not the 8 o'clock vodka or amaretto I mixed it with), so now I'm a Diet Coke girl. I do still eat several sticks of Dr. Pepper chapstick every day though.
c. The commercial tosses in a few little people just for the fun of it! I see where they're going with the, "little Kiss" of cherry flavor but it's such a bizarre way to make that point, no? In any event, I love the concept, and would like to shake the man's hand who came up with it.



*Please see May 11 post for details.

Funny Commercial. Period.

Normally I try to avoid blogging about ads only 50% of the population can relate to, but I just couldn't resist this one. My favorite part is the "racially ambiguous" point. However the all white thing? Totally sucks me in. If you're a tampon* commercial claiming I can wear white all month long I'm going to be intrigued. Also? To tell the god's honest truth? I'm happy to see girls wearing bathing suits, leotards, etc. and being active. My point is that while I love this commercial because it's funny, I buy girlie products based on the very points they are snubbing! I just do, ok?



*OMG, please do not let this be the day my entire family starts reading my blog. I swear! Please know I am blushing furiously over here, but a blogger must suffer for her art! To lighten the mood, I am providing a Kotex commercial spoof compliments of Chelsea Handler. (This happens to be a useful commercial too- I now know Uby Kotex is pronounced "you buy" and not "oobee". That may be an answer when I'm on Jeopardy someday- I'd hate to ruin my otherwise perfect game with an incorrect pronunciation).

Collie? More Like COOLIE!

Perhaps the funniest commercial ever. There are so many things I love in this ad: tacos, a redhead, a monkey dressed like a cowboy (I had no idea I loved monkeys dressed like cowboys so very very much until I saw this ad), and border collies. Now, I don't want to brag or be a name dropper, but I can't resist just this one time. Try not to be jealous. My dog (or rather my parents' dog... we got him when I was a senior in high school) is the grandson of the dog who starred in Beverly Hillbillies the movie (circa 1993). You didn't know I hung with such a celebrity crowd did you? Well, believe it!

My own dear Allie, is also a collie but I'm hear to tell you, Hollywood just doesn't cast shelties like they do border collies. So, below is her picture. She'd be happy to talk with any agents who happen to be Ad Bits fans.

I'm all about dogs today! Also, please note my Book of the Week (now, really, my Book of the Whenever I Think To Edit The Sidebar), The Art of Racing in the Rain. Gorgeous book. No monkey cowboys (or tacos for that matter, but pancakes! And jalapenos!) but still a lovely book.



All my girls at Christmas!

Jabbawockeez* Eat Your Heart Out

Know what this commercial is missing? A feisty redhead with sweet moves. Who blogs. About commercials. ME you guys! I'm talking about ME! Have you seen my twirling heli-rotary move? What about my funky chipmunk? Dipsy doodle? No? Well, you've at least heard about my kick-fanny breakitdowns? Seriously? Not ringing any bells? Well, I guess you'll just have to take my word for it then. Just don't be surprised if you see me doing my world famous diggy-diggy-swish move on the next Sears commercial, that's all I'm sayin'.




*A note to the Jabbawockeez: Could you please, please take off your creepy as Oompa-Loompa masks? I had to go to your website to double check the spelling of your crew and nearly wet my adorable, fit my hiney perfectly jeans in fear. Also, if you could kindly respond to my audition tape I would greatly appreciate it.

Good Work (Ya Dumb Doorknob!)

Last year I made an a-s-s of myself at a FedEx Kinkos. The girl helping me was just lovely and so helpful and we were just chatting away. I was super pregnant at the time and she asked how far apart my girls would be. I said, "well, it will vary. Sometimes just a couple inches, sometimes several miles!" Hee hee! Just kidding.

This is what actually happened. She said something like, "can you imagine having 2 babies within 11 months?" I quickly (and with my best horrified tone) replied, "Ohmygosh, no! You'd have to be flippin' crazy!" She laughed like a hyena and pointed to the other worker, "Her kids are 11 months apart!" I felt sheepish, but come on! I was totally set up!

In any event, here is a funny commercial to commemorate my idiocy:

Meet the Bobbles

On order: Bobblehead Husband and Bobblehead 3 year old .

Never again will I hear, "No, we cannot purchase a private jet OR a private island off the coast of Hawaii". Never again will I hear, "NO! I will NOT stop smearing cheese slices on the freshly washed windows!" Once my bobbleheads arrive, every conversation will be with them.
Me: "Bobblehead Hubby, am I getting more and more beautiful and younger looking with every passing day?"
Bobblehead: (nods yes)
Me: "You're too kind! And Bobblehead Daughter, do you promise to stop dumping my very expensive and very new powder eyeshadow on the bathroom floor? You do!? What a dear!"

My delusional life rocks! I have Pepboys to thank for my new Bobblehead Family obsession. They have a cute new commercial out that isn't on YouTube yet. Allow me to recommend a new and wonderful way to waste time at work though! http://www.pepboysgarage.com/#/store Follow this link to create your personal bobblehead! Here is my Molly Bobble (the eyebrows don't compliment her red eyes much, huh?):