Jules' Laws... Repeat

Here's a Friday Flashback friends.  It won't look familiar to you because it was originally written before anyone actually read my blog.  So happy you're here now!

Jules' Laws
My brother has long held the position that taking saunas should be a men-only experience (no, he's straight). Unfortunately for him I love me a sweatin' good time (Richard Simmons, eat your heart out!) In fact, it was in the sauna that my dad reminded me of the "Man Law" commercials by Miller Lite. How could I forget such awesomity! Such funnariness! Such brilliantary use of celebrities! Not to mention Miller makes good points. See below for my favorites.

Yeah, we don't know where those fingers have been.


Boys, I'd like to introduce you to the fist-pound.


I'd clink bottoms with you any day Mr. Reynolds.  Burt if you're nasty.

WWW Wednesday

Update: Last week I introduced the theory that perhaps WWW Wednesdays were somehow magical because after I whined about something, the problem solved itself!  If you remember, I tested my theory last week by mentioning a private jet and less painfully dry skin.  I'm sorry to report, I remain jetless and dry.  Those are pretty big ticket items though, so I'm giving the bloggy powers that be some more time.

Whine: I need more hours. Particularly around this time of year.  I know I'm not the only one.  Can I get a "holla"?!  Today I started my Naughty and Nice lists, (I was hoping to save a few bucks this year, but everybody has been pretty stinkin' nice) itemizing gift ideas for each person.  It quickly became clear I should have started this list in March because there are several handmade gifts I want to make.  I calculated my time between now and Christmas and if I cut back about 3 hours/night on sleep, forgo eating, and hire a full-time nanny to watch the kids and give Jim some attention I'm still coming up short.  What's that?  Cut out Internet surfing?  Surely you jest!

Wish: My girls stay friends with the very friends they have now.  And make new ones of course, but I just love their sweet little friendships right now.  Plus, Molly is three.  Which is the age I was when I made two of my very dearest friends in the world.  I love making new friends, but there is a lot to be said for a friend who watched you through every embarrassing hair style, fashion disaster, and heartbreak; a friend who pushes you on the swings and later stands in your wedding, with whom you share precious Halloween candy and later, maternity clothes.  You know, the friend who loves your parents and siblings as her own and then is great friends with your husband and adores your kids as her own.  I hope you all have these buddies and I wish wish wish my girls to have them too. 
Note: now I'm crying for the second time today.  The first was when I was reading Knuffle Bunny Free to Molly.  Have mercy!  There should be a sob disclaimer on page one of that story!

Woo-hoo!  Today I made this dip that I'm obsessssed with!  I'll put the recipe up on "Bits I Make".  That's right- I woo-hoo on a regular basis about food and today it's a doozie.  I got the recipe from Deceptively Delicious (but I leave out the pureed carrots because I'd hate to be too healthy, right?) and I am going to eat it with lime tortilla chips for every meal until it's gone.  Love it.  But if you're looking for a more substantial woo-hoo, my sister is coming to visit tomorrow and staying until Sunday!  I don't get enough of that girl, so I'm super pumped.  And she doesn't usually hack into my Facebook account or hide creepy dolls in my pantry (see here) so that's cool too.  Woo-hoo within the woo-hoo: she's babysitting Saturday night so J and I can hit the town like the cool hipsters we are! (heehee)

Remind me to never have a whiny Wednesday with this guy (whose use of the word "jackwagon" made my whole year- I'll be repeating often.  Consider yourself warned.)

This Is Nuts!

I know it's WWW Wednesday and I promise to get to that later, but this couldn't wait!  Huge news!  Mr. Peanut speaks!  Check it out:



Incidentally my favorite Planters commercial does not even feature Mr. Peanut, but this hottie boomalottie instead:

Cow Belle!

I milked a cow today!  Those of you gazing out your front window at your very own dairy cows probably aren't impressed, but it was a big deal for a city girl like me.  Not as big a deal of course, as the time I helped deliver a calf (read about that experience here), but I was pretty pumped (much like the cow's udder!)  I don't want to brag, but I got milk out on the first try.  And I think the cow liked me.  That is, she didn't kick me in the head.

Here's Mols meeting a baby cow a while back:

If you don't have a friend with a dairy farm I highly recommend you get one- farms are just fascinating and... farmy.  Many times when we visit my friends' farm I put my girls in overalls because I just feel like I should.  Thanks to them, A's first animal noise was a cow, closely followed by a barn cat (which sounds strikingly similar to a non-barn cat!).  Visits to the farm also make me feel all rugged (for me that is).  Case in point, we took our kiddos for a walk down the road (yes, it was dirt) and Molly had to go potty.  Usually her spontaneous bladder is not a problem- we simply pull into a gas station or Taco Bell.  Today when she announced she had to go I think my exact words were, "Molly!  You've got to be kidding me!"  There was no where to go.  Except for the acres and acres of nature.  My friend pointed out she could just go right where we were, so she did.  Clumsily, yes, but she didn't saturate her clothes, which was all I really cared about.  And bonus!  I had tissues in my pocket!  Resourceful me! 

I'll spare you guys all my farmy puns.  Ha!  Did you fall for that?  It's a bunch of bull.  You've got to know I could never steer clear of cow puns!  Besides, I herd most people appreciate a good cow joke.  Ok!  I'll stop before you hoof on out of here without watching this fly commercial.  (Get it?  Fly?  Because cows attract flies?  No?  Alright, fair enough).  Seriously though, I'm in love with this commercial wholeheartedly.  Not just calfheartedly.

Count Me In

Fellow Bloggers, do you obsess over your Number?  You know... your Followers?  I do.  For instance, right now I have one hundred fifteen (doesn't that look better than 115?)  But I know of a few people*
who read my blog on at least a kinda-sorta regular basis, but aren't Followers- seven I can think of off hand.  However, (and this is an embarrassing but true fact about me) five of my actual Followers are family members that I took the liberty of setting up myself.

I know, pathetic.

I've lost a total of three Followers- two on one day (right after I posted this post about Jim... maybe baby giraffes offend some people??  I had no way of knowing that!)  These losses saddened me for days as though I'd lost my most favorite pair of shoes.  (If any of you are thinking of leaving I hope I'm doing a good job of guilting you into sticking around.  I have no problem with a pity Follow).

Am I crazy?  Do you other Bloggers fret as I do over your Number?  Or have I completely laid my insecurities out there in the nude for the entire blogosphere (or at least 115 members of the blogosphere) to poke fun at?  Prod away, I'm embracing my vulnerabilities today!  Plus, I'm confident I can sway you to stay with this hi-lar-ious commercial that has become a favorite here at Ad Bits.  It was emailed to me today by an unofficial Follower and real life friend whom I adore, with the note that she and her kiddos love it.  That could go without saying because hello!  Who wouldn't love this ad?  Even I, with my weird rodent phobia love this commercial and may or may not be headed to Rhapsody as soon as this post is finished to download the soundtrack onto my MP3 player.  That's for me to know.


*I adore my unofficial Followers!  You guys give me faith that maybe there are others reading my blog too!  Maybe my number is more like 1,115!!! 

Shower Me With Fun

What an insanely busy few days!  Biz.  Ee.  But fun!  My whole family was in town for my sister-in-law to be's shower (which we DID have power for, God love you for your electrical wishes).  The shower was a success as far as I know.  The bride had a hefty stash to haul home so that's a good sign, right?  She also got to meet a lot of our family and she still seems to want to marry into our insanity so that's good news too.  Here is my brother, his fiance, and their little dog:

I spent today catching up with my kids.  While I've been prepping for the shower the last few days my dear girls have been shooed into the playroom, coaxed into bed early, given fake jobs to keep them out of my way occupied ("why don't you count you count tiles for me?  Done?  Okaaaay... now, count the eyelets on all these shoes.  That has to be done before any successful bridal shower.")  The end result is that I miss playing with my babies!  For all my talk about craving adult conversation, I was happy to be Molly's pet unicorn this afternoon.

This is my favorite commercial right now.  Travelers is becoming quite a contender in the advertising arena.  I think the soundtrack totally makes this one. 

My Day At School

I don't normally blog on Thursdays.  But even if I wanted to yesterday, all the Diet Cokes in the world could not have given me the energy to move my fingers about a keyboard.  Why?  Because November 4th was my day to be the parent volunteer in Molly's class.

I overcame my first hurdle with flying colors: Molly didn't even protest me going in with her!  She didn't excitedly drag me in by the hand and begin showing me her cubby, art area, and new friends of course, but I would never have expected that.  It was more like, "You're coming in?  Ok, I'll probably run into you at some point then."  Which was fine with me as I was expecting a full-fledged, "Preschool is just for children!" tantrum.

My first job was to help the kids locate their name tags and pin them on their shirts.  I did it!  Piece of cake!  I'd be a great teacher! 

The kids have ten minutes of free time before they congregate on the big circle.  I was a huge hit!  "Teacher!  Teacher!  [who me?! yes! me!] will you do this puzzle with me?  Will you play cheetahs with me? [??] I made you a pizza, I made you a cake!"  They vied for my attention and I began a speech to Jim in my head, "I think I want to get a degree in education.  I've missed my calling and it's a 3 year old voice saying, 'you shoulda been a preschool teacher!'"

Next is circle time, where M introduced me (unnecessary since I was already BFFs with these kiddos!); we sang songs, read a book, etc.  Kids wanted to sit on my lap and I felt like the Homecoming Queen of the Tuesday/Thursday morning preschool class.

I assisted my mini buddies with animal bingo (everyone wins!) and then it was time for snack (apparently parent volunteers just help serve- we don't actually partake in snack) and more free time.  My eye caught the clock.  Hm.  Earlier than I would have guessed.

The rest of the day is an exhausted blur.  I was starving.  I had the kind of headache that slams your brain against your skull every time you take a step.  The kids were not as cute getting a second wind and I could not keep up anymore.  I planted myself at the art table and repeated, "I like all the colors you used" and "You worked so hard on that" to whomever sat down beside me.

Finally, mercifully, it was recess and then!  "Thank you Molly's mommy!"  We were outta there.  Molly has asphalt burn down the side of her face from me dragging her, manically racing to my car.  When we got home I noticed another mom had snuck a note in her backpack about chipping in for the teachers' Christmas gifts.  Timely.  They will be getting a hefty gift from this non-teacher!

Chuck Norris.  Hah!  He's got NOTHING on the preschool teachers of the world.