The End Of The World

A funny thing happened yesterday.  My friend asked me to email her my blog's web address.  Of course I was happy to do so, but typed in http://www.adbits.blogpsot.com/  instead of blogSPOT.com.  She just copied and pasted what I had typed into her browser and got a totally different site than she anticipated (I think her exact words were, "woah, this is not what I expected").  Luckily, she's a smart girl and knows me well enough to assume the former was not my website, but I was happy she brought it to my attention.  Go check it out if you have your druthers, but let me offer this little teaser: "Doomsday Countdown Clock".

No fire and brimstone here friends, but I was convinced my world was ending this morning when Molly refused to wear a matching outfit with Adrienne!  I wrestled her to the floor and crammed her head into the shirt (also wrestling with my [former] conviction that she should be allowed to make as many small decisions as possible) and threatened we would NOT get pumpkins today if she didn't match her sister! 

I know.  I know.  It was a bit much on my part, but I was totally unprepared for this!  She usually loves dressing like her sister and I live for their little matching dresses, capris, and in this case, stretchy pants and sweatshirts.  I mean, why even HAVE two little girls if you aren't going to dress them alike!?  Certainly not to get double the attitude.  On deck for church tomorrow are frilly brown dresses with pink hearts and tights.  Wish me luck.  Maybe today was just a fluke.  Or maybe there will be no tomorrow...  !!!!

Things I Hide From My Husband

I never take naps!  Unless I'm pregnant (and I'm not!) I try to sneak one in say... once a month.  But if I want Jim to come home earlier than expected, all I have to do is park M in front of the TV and lay down for a snooze.  Like yesterday for instance.  Then it's all:
Jim: "Hi girls!  I'm home!"
Me: (shooting up out of my luxury slumber) "I never nap!  I don't!"
Jim: "I know."
Me: "This is such a weird, fluke thing!  And M does not actually watch TV all day!"
Jim: "Yeah, I know."
Me: "Honestly, I had a little headache so I laid down for like, 20 minutes!"
Jim: "Jule!  I know!  You never nap!  M isn't in front of the TV all day! I know this!"
Me:  "Now I sound all defensive when really I wasn't doing anything wrong!  Do you want to know what I did today? (Jim is leaving the room now and I'm yelling up the stairs) I caught up on laundry, went to the Y, took the girls to the library, we played ball outside, made a menu for next week, cleaned the office, got my lesson ready for Sunday school... I've been PRODUCTIVE!"

There are other things I hide from Jim besides my monthly nap.  For instance, I've been known to slam my computer shut when I hear him coming so he doesn't know the depth of my Facebook addiction.  And I'm always hiding food related things from him.  Many times I want a food item (like chocolate covered pretzels) all to myself so I'll hide them in the filing cabinet in my office (under D for Delicious!).  Or, if a package of Oreos was full when he left, I'll be sure the empty package is replaced by the time he gets home. (Jim: "Noone opened the Oreos?"  Me: "Oh gosh, I forgot we even had them!")

I don't hide most purchases from him.  Quite the opposite actually, I love showing off my amazing finds ("Look how thrifty I am!  Matching bandanas for the girls AND dog for $3!").  With the exception of Girl Scout cookies.  If I never tell him about the cookie purchase he'll never wonder why he never ever sees a box cross our home's threshhold and I never ever have to explain how I could possibly finish off an entire box of Jubilees while driving home.

Do you hide anything from your husbands?  I promise not to tell them!

Wuh Wuh Wuh Wednesday

Let's get down to business!
Whine:  This is my very best whiney voice: I want a new phone!  Mine rings for all of half a second before going to voicemail, will randomly not ring at all, and has two letters to a button, really putting a damper on my text life. But I don't want to renew my contract.  Have you guys ever bought a phone online so you wouldn't have to renew?  How does that work out?  I feel like there's a catch that I just don't see right now... 
Wish:  I know you other mommies will give me a loud "Amen!" here.  I wish teething weren't so awful!  Poor little A is a droolie mess and her mouth area is all chapped and raw (which, let's face it- does not a cute baby make), her little behind is inexplicably blistery thanks to these mountainous teeth, and now her crib is taking a beating (or should I say biting).  Case in point:


Those are teeth marks!

Woo-hoo:  I'm finally finishing this post!  I've had it on my screen for almost 9 hours now, but I keep getting interrupted!  But the girls are in bed now and I'm finally going to wrap this baby up!  But my official woo-hoo is that J is coming home tomorrow!! (instead of Friday as originally planned)  Hooray!  And I'm going swimming tomorrow morning so I'm pumped about that- I haven't been in a couple months.  I guess that's a woo-hoo for tomorrow, but I trust you guys to cut me some woo-hooing slack.

Here's a woo-hooey type commercial.  Love this baby, love this commercial.

Goal Mine!

My tablecloth is finished!  For a girl who can't sew and usually sticks to making people crazy rather than making actual, useful things this is a big deal!  Here is the finished product:



Here's a close-up of the pattern.  Halloweeny, right?

 Making my tablecloth got me thinking about my list of goals (138 of them, 49 of which have been accomplished).  It's been a while since I checked any of them off, so I pulled out the list to see what I might tackle next (unfortunately tablecloth making does not make an appearance on my list).  Some things may never get checked off, like "Do monthly breast exams".  I mean, when would I stop doing that?  After my double mastectomy I guess.  But there are other things that are easy enough to check off, it's just a matter of getting off my hiney and making them happen.  Like getting CPR certified, taking a self-defense class, or hiking (part of) the Appalachian Trail.

I lovey love love lists of goals.  How much?  Ok, here it is.  I love lists of goals MORE than I love commercials.  Even more than I love commercials with talking animals.  I know!  Deep huh?  So I'm dying to know, what are your goals?  What ones are you actively pursuing?  Which ones have you completed that you're proudest of?

A lot of goals are all about getting more "know how" so I thought this would be an appropriate commercial for today.  Plus, I love the head bobs the NAPA employees have going on.  If ever I step foot into an automotive store* (I won't... unless it ends up on the Goal List for some reason) I'll be sure it's NAPA.



*That's what NAPA is, right?  Some kind of auto parts store?  I don't even know.  I can't imagine ever needing to go in there for anything.

FMBT

It's FMBT!  Survey Junkie, Little Yaya's, Review Retreat and Boobies, Babies & A Blog are hosting this super fun blog hop- link up if you're feeling sassy (or just looking for new followers and fun blogs to read!)

Polygamy Schmigamy

I promise you will not have to read my Sister Wives rants every Monday.  Because last night was the season finale.  Allow me to just highlight a few of the most puke-worthy moments:

• At a cake testing the wives and Poly-Kody decided to close their eyes to take a vote.  He stood up and manically danced, confirming my theory that jerks also have jerky dance moves.  Really though, I'm moved to nausea anytime he so much as inhales.
• While the wives and K were checking out a reception sight Wife #1 made a joke about a stripper pole, noting there were four poles. Convenient!  Each wife grabbed a pole while K flexed in the middle.  Similarly, my stomach muscles flexed as everything about him makes me heave.
• As he dressed for his (fourth) wedding, a wife assisted with his tie.  He looked at her with what I think were supposed to be his best bedroom eyes and commented on how nice she looked, moving in for a kiss and clearly wishing he didn't have to rush off to that pesky wedding.

During commercials I was flipping a channel down to "I'm Pregnant and A Nudist" and contemplating never leaving the house again for all the insanity of our world.  Of course, I completely feed into it by watching these shows, I know, and it's going to stay that way because what is my alternative?  To not watch!?  Now that's insanity!

I looked for a polygamy commercial on YouTube but to no avail.  I did however find a couple commercials featuring nudists.  The one below was my favorite, but if you have your druthers you can go find the rather dirty Red Bull nudist commercial.

I'm Spotlighted!

The lovely Marie at The Things We Find Inside is kind enough to spotlight me on her blog this week!  I'm so thrilled!  She has a great blog and has grown faster than any other blog I've ever seen!  I started following her when she was just over a hundred followers and now she's got over 800! 

I hope you are all having a fantastic weekend.  Mine has been wonderful.  And Sister Wives is on tonight so it's about to get wonderfully horrifying!