Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mace in the Hole

I was pepper sprayed last night.   It's not as glamorous as it sounds, it's just bound to happen when you hang with the kind of rowdy people I associate with.  And when I say I was pepper sprayed?  I mean somebody not far from me was pepper sprayed and the table my friends and I were sitting at happened to be in the crossfire.  My girlfriend realized it first and ushered me and another pregnant girl away.  I coughed a few times and that was the worst of it.  For me at least- others at the table were really burning, and I imagine the guy who got pepper sprayed was hurting.  I hope he really deserved it because she also sprayed our cheesecake (that I stupidly left behind when I was ushered away). 

When I recounted all of this to my mom she couldn't believe I returned and ate my cheesecake (that may or may not have been mildly sprayed).  I had to stop and consider that for a moment because it really never occurred to me NOT to eat the cheesecake.  My mom clearly does not remember being pregnant*.

You are probably surprised this post wasn't peppered with puns.  I'm rising above all that.  Let's just spray this doesn't happen again.  Really, spraying that stuff in a restaurant is beyond attacky, don't you think?  But I do take this as a sign that if I have a boy this time, his name should most definitely be Mason.  And for a girl?  Pepper.

*Anyone who knows me knows that is a pitiful excuse; I would have mowed down that cheesecake, pregnancy or no.


Nicki Woo said...

Okay, here is where I show you, I'm not that bright. I haven't done that yet, have I? I can't remember. See. I told you.

Anyway, why did some chica spray pepper spray. I need to know.

Second, why wouldn't you have eaten that cheesecake? I'm with you on that one.

Third, Mason? I'm completely confused. Maybe its because Perry Mason used pepper spray to investigate crimes? Maybe it's because you keep Pepper Spray in Mason Jars? I really don't know why you'd name your son Mason, in regards to pepper spray.

Pepper for a girl I get. If you're really cool, you could go for Pepa. sounds kinda posh.

Okay now. Get back with me. I gotta know.

Nicki Woo said...

It was Monday. No Jules.
It was Tuesday. No Jules.
Today it's Wednesday. No Jules.

Just wondering if the baby got upset that you were trying to name him Mason after Mason jars, Perry Mason, and pepper spray, and has kidnapped you to inside your uterus. Which would be quite difficult to say the least. But if that kid pulled it off, then I think he/she should get to pick their own name.

The Anything Place said...

Hahaha that is such a funny commericial with the spray.

Jules said...

@Nikki: You are huh-larious! And not so slow. I'm the dweeb here. Jim also did not understand my Mason reference and it's my fault. I was trying (poorly) to make a joke about mace. So I was going with Mason, but should have clarified by writing Mace-in or something. Does that clear things up? It was a dumb joke. Especially since the whole scenario revolved around pepper spray and not even mace. But they're kind of similar I think.

My fetus did NOT kidnap me- I actually kidnapped IT and took it to Seattle/Vancouver with me. But we're BACK now and will be blogging again starting tomorrow! Not to mention all the blog reading catch-up I have to work on! I'll be swinging by soon!