A Seat-atle Story

A love story:


Jim and I got our seat assignments for our connecting flight to Atlanta and we weren’t next to each other. We were bummed, but it was the shorter of our two flights so it wasn’t the end of the world. In Atlanta we got our seat assignments for our flight to Seattle and again! They were not next to each other. I was so sad! I was hoping to catch up with Jim on the way out, exchange some playful banter, maybe rest my head lovingly on his shoulder. “Well, maybe we could ask somebody to switch once we get on” we agreed.

The flight was very, very full. I sat down in my window seat waaaaay behind Jim and across the aisle and unpacked my book. A guy sat down in my row’s aisle seat. People continued filing in and I continued reading. The next thing I knew the gate was closing. Everyone that was getting on the plane was on and as far as I could see the only empty seat was the one between me and the other guy! I could get Jim back here!

But. It was kind of nice having that extra space. I sprawled a bit. I had both armrests to myself. I could stretch at least one leg out a bit. I decided against telling Jim about the seat next to me. Besides, how fair would that be to the other guy, right?

Fast forward to Wednesday when the guilt got the best of me. I confessed to Jim there had been an empty seat. And here’s the story’s twist. There was an empty seat next to him too! I was delighted at our sameness! We have a reciprocal love for personal space! Are we meant for each other or what?! I won the love lottery with this guy.  Love: it’s even better than hearing the Pina Colada song on the radio. And that’s saying a lot.

Mace in the Hole

I was pepper sprayed last night.   It's not as glamorous as it sounds, it's just bound to happen when you hang with the kind of rowdy people I associate with.  And when I say I was pepper sprayed?  I mean somebody not far from me was pepper sprayed and the table my friends and I were sitting at happened to be in the crossfire.  My girlfriend realized it first and ushered me and another pregnant girl away.  I coughed a few times and that was the worst of it.  For me at least- others at the table were really burning, and I imagine the guy who got pepper sprayed was hurting.  I hope he really deserved it because she also sprayed our cheesecake (that I stupidly left behind when I was ushered away). 

When I recounted all of this to my mom she couldn't believe I returned and ate my cheesecake (that may or may not have been mildly sprayed).  I had to stop and consider that for a moment because it really never occurred to me NOT to eat the cheesecake.  My mom clearly does not remember being pregnant*.

You are probably surprised this post wasn't peppered with puns.  I'm rising above all that.  Let's just spray this doesn't happen again.  Really, spraying that stuff in a restaurant is beyond attacky, don't you think?  But I do take this as a sign that if I have a boy this time, his name should most definitely be Mason.  And for a girl?  Pepper.


*Anyone who knows me knows that is a pitiful excuse; I would have mowed down that cheesecake, pregnancy or no.

How A Piece of String Made Me Cry

Molly's preschool had a Mother's Day party today.  It was darling.  We were swarmed with munchkins (who are not so excited to see us at home, but at school love us ten times more than usual) eager to present us with hand-printed hot pads and sorbet.  Sorbet!  I was pumped, as I had sent this text to my friend two seconds before walking into the school: "Waiting to go into school for mothers day party.  Ohmygosh!  I hope there is a snack!"

So the sorbet was awesome.  Then they sang some songs about being little miracles, and flowers and sunshine being for everyone, big or small, rich or poor.  I started choking up, but managed to squash the tears by focusing on the kid inviting Molly to dance (oh geez, it's the same kid who brought her a shell from Florida over spring break.  Lord, help me).

But then.  Then!  Those wonderfully sadistic teachers presented us with a portfolio of our child's work, complete with the name tag they got the first day of school, blurbs about what they like to do with their Daddies from the Father's Day Valentine's Day party, and... a string.

A string they used to measure Molly way back in October.  She has grown.  And not just taller.  She colors in the lines better now, she memorizes long(ish) songs and poems, she speaks more eloquently, she shares more happily, she holds her crayon properly, she has even more confidence (!), and she's just... older.  A more mature Molly.  Thank you piece of string, thank you very much.  I will tape you up and remember all the ways in which my girl has grown, even as she puts her shoes on the wrong feet or spills her milk or cries when she falls.  She might be little, but I know it's not for long.

WWW Wednesday

Whine:  Jim was supposed to bring me a Diet Coke this afternoon and he forgot.  It's one thing when I forget.  It's a totally different (more horrible! more unforgivable!) thing when he forgets.  Especially when it means the difference between serene, productive, Jules and "Why is this house such a freaking mess all the time!?  Am I supposed to clean, do kid care, cook, nap, and create a human life here?!" Jules.  I trust he won't forget again.

Wish:  I wish for my chicken tetrazinni to turn out tonight.  I've never made it before and food is just too precious these days to struggle through a mediocre meal.  The recipe calls for heavy whipping cream and butter though, so I have a hard time believing it will be anything less than finger-licking.  The name "tetrazinni" also makes me wish for a good, old-fashion game of Tetris.  I flippin' rocked that game.

Woo-hoo!  Jim and I leave soon for our Seattle/Vancouver trip!  I'm reluctant to say exactly when we leave because while I know YOU wouldn't break into my house some weird lurker might be after my insanely fresh, freakishly good pineapple or leftover tetrazinni.  So you understand why that information cannot be disclosed.  But it's soon enough that I can give a woo-hoo!

I hope you all have a baseball bat and something (inanimate!) on which to beat away your whines today, friends.

Man Down

When I logged into Blogger this morning I saw I was down one follower.  Who knew Bin Laden was reading Ad Bits!?  Well, I'm happy to be short one reader if it means he's a goner.

So May is starting off with a bang (if you will) and I have to say, the end of April was fantastic too!  The wedding I was in Saturday was perfect.  It rivaled Kate and William's if you ask me!  As an added bonus, I fit into my bridesmaid dress!  It was a photo finish, but that baby zipped in the end!  Here I am with Jim and the girls.  This is one of two family pictures we have taken since Adrienne was born.

Why are both my girls pointing at their right cheeks?  Are they pointing at their dimples?  Pondering something?  It's a mystery!

Here's to a magnificent May, full of woo-hoos my wonderful, peaceful, not-a-terrorist readers.  May your joy be contagious!

More On the Royal Wedding

I did not get up this morning to watch Kate and William's wedding.  But I've been watching it on repeat every single moment since I woke up... I can't get enough of those two royal lovebirds!  I totally want to be Kate Middleton.  Not because she's married to William, no (I'm a bigger fan of Harry anyway), but because who the fajibbities doesn't want to be a princess?!  I'll take my crown minus the paparazzi and scandal and scrutiny though thanks.  And can she ever just bust out her nerdiest dance moves wearing her scuzziest sweats in the kitchen?  Because that's a luxury I can't live without.  It's probably better I'm just little old commoner Jules.

This is an important day.  And you know I love to commemorate important days with stupid puns!  I don't know about you guys, but I was totally throne by how many people showed up for the wedding.  Some of the girls there were queen with envy.  But William's bride got her cake and kate it too!  I hope Harry Englands himself a nice girl; someone who isn't kingdumb.  Now that the wedding is over, I have to say, I will sort of miss the princessant news coverage!

Only the Best WWW Wednesday Ever!

Whine:  I have a big fat mouth!  It's so hard to keep it closed!

Wish:  I wish I could have spilled the beans weeks ago!

Woo-hoo!  I'm having a baby!!  Another little baby!  Lucky number three!  I've been dying to tell you guys, but wasn't sure if this was the kind of thing I wanted to announce to the blogosphere.  But the bottom line is: there is just too much blog material that comes with pregnancy to NOT write about it!  This may also explain why 90% of my posts lately have been food centered (not really, but only because I made a HUGE effort to reign in the food-talk.  Now all bets are off, and you will have to hear regularly about cheese popcorn and the like.)

Also during the DWTS results show last night I saw this great and totally appropriate commercial.  They put popcorn in the microwave oven.  Just like I have a bun in the oven.  But Criss Angel had nothing to do with my situation.