Be On The Lookout

Your weekend assignment: look for the Cheerios commercial with the couple discussing how Cheerios lowers cholesterol (man's character is Steve). This is such an uneventful commercial it's not even on YouTube! But I need some validation. Am I crazy, or did Cheerios hire a brother/sister team to play this married couple!?!? Seriously, they could be twins. Look for it. Agree with me.

Can I Get A Witness?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDUpdicn81s
Bud Light does it again! I could have titled this blog BudBits and commented strictly on Anheuser-Busch commercials for all the material they provide! I love this one in large part because of the perfectly pathetic closing line: "I'll Facebook you"! Because isn't that the God's honest truth? Raise your hand if you've reluctantly confirmed an ex on Facebook, nervously giving him the opportunity to squirm back into your life (albeit your virtual life) after all the hard work of finally breaking up with him!

Now, if Bud Light were to do a "too light/too heavy" commercial about my life it would go something like this:
I'm relaxing at home; not looking particularly cute, perhaps indulging in a box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts and watching something along the lines of the Ellen DeGeneres show. There's a knock at the door. Surprised, I answer. A Jehovah's Witness ambushes me with her spiel, and all the while I'm thinking, "must.... find.... my balls". But I don't, and despite my meek (too light!!!!) protests, I'm sucked into a 2 hour long bible study with this stranger. Before I know what hit me, I'm going to hell.
Next time I'll be prepared! Next time I'm opting for "too heavy"! There will be an emphatic, "Not interested! Not even a little bit"! There will be holy water splashed in her face! There will be a firm closing of the door. There may be a rolling of the Watchtower and a swat on her derriere as she high tails it off my porch!!! And then I'll celebrate with a refreshing (inspiring!) Bud Light.

Sour Power

Do Sour Patch Kids really need commercials? I mean, the only times you eat Sour Patch Kids are when you go to the movies and buy them, or you get drunk and make the DD stop at a 7-11 on your way to Taco Bell so you can run in for some, or you get knocked up and guiltily binge on them until the ultrasound technician hands you baby's first picture and the uncanny resemblance to a Sour Patch Kid scares you into swearing them off... until your next pregnancy.
Despite these very secure niche markets, Sour Patch Kids do have ads on the tube these days. And good ones at that! Check 'em out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV_u9EDE2Z8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXIACAFufjY&feature=related

Here are a few other sweet and sour ad ideas I, for one, would like to see:
1. High school Sour Patch Kid eggs a house, then brings victims omelets in the morning.
2. College SPK drunkenly pees in girl's backpack, then sweet talks her into dinner the next night.
3. Gangsta SPK slashes one's tires... is caught and blows tires up (using sweet and sour gummi substance rather than air!)
4. Stoner SPK eats one's complete stash of SPK in a fit of munchies... then uses his mad gummi connections to arrange lifetime supply of Sour Patch Kids for victim.

First they're sour... then they're sweet!

Trident: Making the Medicine Go Down

There is little I love more than a well-orchestrated, cheesealicious commercial. Take this one for instance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq55mIxT33M. I mean, who doesn't dream of teaching their smiley, wink-adept kids to bounce in perfect alternating sync on the couch? Also, like the gum, their commercial scores points for having multiple colors: the white family, black delivery guy, Asian electrician (?), and the racially ambiguous chimney sweep. And speaking of our Dick Van Dyke wannabe, how bad do you want to watch Mary Poppins after seeing that ad? No? Just me? Well, take this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te_Nv3lMUnA

An aside: Isn't it about time TRIdent came up with a three layer gum? Duh.

One Hell Of A Commercial

For you weekend beer warriors: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJJL5dxgVaM
How f***ing awesome is this commercial? I'm sure as he** it never made it to TV, because of dumba** regulations, but thanks to my kicka** blog you can see for yourself it is in fact, funny s**t.

Palm Pre: Trick? Or Treat?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--Y3zasKbb0&feature=related
In the spirit of Halloween I was going to blog about the high creepy factor of this commercial. (Let it be known too, that I'm a wee bit upset Pre would pick a redhead as their alien-esque spokesmodel- like we don't have enough stereotypes to bust open! Just throw scary, rambling martian into the mix why don't you?)
But then I YouTubed the ad and thought the viewers' comments captured the icky essence of the commercial better than I ever could. Here are a few examples:

• She looks like a vampire or something. Why didn't she put on more blush? This is such a creepy commercial. I would never want to buy this phone. (Julie's note: I don't think she's talking about a sexy, Culleny vampire either).
• Hey look! Maculey Culkin! What's he doing here in a Palm commercial? (J: I'm not sure who should be more offended here- MC or actress?)
• This doesn't make me want to purchase a Palm Pre as much as it's inspiring a phobia of segmented, flow-less lines delivered by a surprisingly pale actress (J: actress? I thought that was a lady-shaped marshmallow speaking)
• What a terrible and terrifying advertisement (J: word).

Baby Love, My Baby Love

Top 5 reasons to love the baby in E-Trade's commercials:
1. The baby has a man's voice, but they somehow make it not creepy, and for that I thank you E-Trade. Nobody likes a creepy baby (do you hear me MTV?)
2. Baby uses slang like, "coin" and "shankopotomus" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTlybfThauM&feature=channel which is extraordinarily funny coming from a toothless little mouth.
3. Our guy remains vulnerable to his audience, unlike your typical, snobbish, superstar commercial actor (ha ha). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4GZfvXx9Js&feature=related
4. How about those mad technology skills!? Trading online, clever web cam usage, hip to the cell phone scene... he's unstoppable! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_yA4BAN7BY And honestly? Truly? Aren't we all just waiting for the day (probably sometime pre-kindergarten) when our kids surpass us in the world of technology, and we no longer have to pay the GeekSquad for house calls?
5. Little buddy is diversified, and not just in his portfolio- check out his black buddy with the golden pipes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhfl4mFH1No&NR=1