This Little Piggy Went Wii Wii Wii

I have heard complaints that some of my regular readers have not had time to read my blog due to the busy holiday season. Because it is my goal that AdBits be both entertaining and useful (the latter being a recent goal- added just seconds ago) I am kicking off the First Annual AdBits Holiday Gift Idea Week. Each day this week (except for the days I don't have time to blog), I will feature a commercial advertising a good gift idea. Never say I don't listen to my audience! Comment cards to arrive along with your Christmas card.

Our week of gift ideas commences with... Wii! (I never said they'd be creative gift ideas).

I am reluctant to recommend the Wii because mine just told me my "Fit Age" is 67. Apparently my balance was off, prompting it to ask if I had trouble walking. So it is with a touch (read: buttload) of bitterness that I admit I still love my Wii regardless of my skewed balance test results. Plus, this commercial really embodies the Christmas spirit, what with the family competitiveness and surfacing disappointment. Congratulations Wii! Thanks to... well me, you're Ad Bits' Holiday Gift Of The Day! Weeeee! (I couldn't resist).

Are Meerkats The New Gecko?

I caught the tail end (pun fully and shamelessly intended) of this commercial the other day and when I YouTubed it to catch the rest I was (pleasantly!) surprised to find a slew of Meerkat commercials- all for different companies! Did these companies hire the same ad agency? If so, said agency needs a new shtick. I mean, they can't get by meerly on Meerkats! Oh ho ho! I'm killing myself over here! ("Yes Jules, and we're killing ourselves over here" readers reply). But what do you expect? You know commercials with funny animals make me giddy.

Here are a few others for you Meerkat lovers.

Every Barf Begins With B

There I sat enjoying The Biggest Loser season finale (Rebecca, dear girl, your hair! It's so... Single White Female) when Kay Jewelers hijacked my tube. It's too much Kay J! I can't breathe! I'm choking on all the cheeeeeese! When my nausea subsided I was left with an angry aftertaste. Their ads actually cause me physical discomfort! Every kiss may begin with Kay, but ya know what else begins with K? Knife. In my eye. Repeatedly.

These Ads Are So Cute! These Ads Are So Cute!

It is a rare occasion on which I find myself wanting my kids to be child actors, but this commercial brings all those wants rushing to the surface.


These kids are darling! And talented! And they're in commercials, not say... Poltergeist: Return of the Polters. So how much damage can be done? (Please do not reference my Dec. 2 post- I will not allow my own bloggy words to be used in a (valid- I admit it! Valid!) case against me). Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your take here), I don't have the energy to parade my kids around the show biz (unless we're talking Chuck E. Cheese- fka Show Biz) so they'll have to settle for Jules' School of Awesome Commercial Dances, in which I will train them in Gap Ads 101 and force them to perform at all family functions (and for my own spontaneous amusement). Of course, first Adrienne will need to learn to walk (she can't even sit up yet- I've got her in sitting up boot camp (thank you Bumbo!) but those are issues for another blog- maybe a Hover-Mom blog). I could have her be the girl laying on the floor during the "these boots are so cute" portion. Yes! Problem solved.

Word count: 208
Parentheses count: 7 (but I've earned it! having finally learned how to embed the YouTube videos!!!!)
Oops: make that 8

Fantasy by B.S.

It's such a cop-out to blog about Britney Spears' "Fantasy" commercial. I mean talk about picking the low hanging fruit! But it's Friday and an easy (archery?) target is just what I'm looking for- merci beacoup Madame Pickle Spears! (I've always wanted to call her that! Thank you for allowing me that artistic (?!) liberty).

So here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbJwwrUC9l4&feature=related and here are a few comments on quotes from this very ad:
a) "she was beautiful"- I'm happy her time in the loony bin didn't damage Brit's esteem!
b) "there wasn't a part of her he didn't want to touch" - He lived in the woods and was not privy to the paparazzi's uncoverings! Frankly, Monsieur Hunter, she's Toxic.
c) "so he did something kind of... crazy"- Did he shave his head and jump half naked in the ocean with dozens of strangers taking photos? No? Gosh, I must be thinking of someone else....

But Britney can't (bare) shoulder all the blame- where was her agent? Where were her friends? The Mouseketeers? The nice girls from her blockbuster, "Crossroads"? Lil sis Jamie Lynn? (Ok, I get why she was unavailable- she's got enough on her own crazy plate). My point is, a girl who is notorious for being off her nut should not try to convince consumers to buy a fragrance so they too can live in a (sedative induced?) fantasy.

Filling In the Gap

Dear Mom and Dad:
Remember how angry you were with me when I dropped out of med school and decided to pursue my dancing career? You said I would never make any money, my chances of making it in showbiz were "dismal", that a mind is a terrible thing to waste! But look at me now! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVMPWlWDvsI I'm spreading holiday cheer! I'm entertaining people, promoting cute and durable clothes, and educating the general public on December holidays. Nobody taught me about the solstice in my six years of med school and now I'm chanting about it on national television!

I plan on trying out for the next season of "So You Think You Can Dance". Because I do think I can. I trust you're eating your words now and feeling guilty. It's ok. Please just send a check covering next month's rent and heating bill and we'll call it even. I could also use some new leg warmers.

See you at Christmas (any chance of getting a First Class ticket this year? I have a better chance of being discovered if I'm in First Class).

Love,
Me

Here Comes Santa Claus

December First! Nothing says, "Merry Christmas" like seasonal commercials, sucking me in, forcing me into fanatical consumerism. I know it's officially Christmastime when the little Hershey kiss bells play "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" on my television. Mars, Inc. counters with the always cute red and yellow M&Ms chatting it up (maybe the elusive and scandalous green M&M will make an appearance for the holidays)?! Target always has good curl up with hot chocolate, song-and-dance commercials (but this year are also "targeting" the thrifty buyers with a separate series of ads). The Anheuser-Busch Clydesdales will undoubtedly be coming out to play soon, reminding us all of the important role alcohol plays during the holidays, as families across the country have their obligatory get-togethers. And Macy's, the patriarch of Christmas shopping season, barely needs to advertise as the store is mentioned in nearly every holiday movie ever made, but still they do- this year featuring Queen Latifah in their first commercial of the winter (Lord help us if Latifah becomes the new face of Christmas)!

With T minus 24 days to finish shopping, we consumers must pay extra close attention to these commercials; without them we may not be aware of the darling scarves, efficient coffee makers, or ornate ornaments the retail world has to offer. I argue that now, more than ever, we must pay attention to the words of our advertisers!!! For they must have our best interest at heart.